


Vostok

by SpaceAceAmeko



Series: Kosmonat [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Altean Keith (Voltron), Druid Keith, Galra Keith (Voltron), I should tag about blood and gore too?, M/M, Panic Attacks, have some katt platonic romance too, just in case, klance, pls someone save these children, second installation of kosmonat, the paladins are too young to make level 9 grown up decisions, time blends, time warp?, yet another long ass fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-15
Updated: 2016-11-15
Packaged: 2018-08-31 04:26:10
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8564011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceAceAmeko/pseuds/SpaceAceAmeko
Summary: The last thing he remembers was the battle. Screaming, druid magic. Spilled quintessence.
Then light. It was bright, and ridiculously, glaringly, magenta. Like the entire Galra empire, their fur, the lights----
This can't be... He thinks, taking a shuddering breath. It was his room. His room at the Garrison. Before Voltron, before Shiro's disappearance. He could still see the silly little bobble headed astronaut on his desk.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Oh my gaawd. Holy shit. I can't believe how successful _Sputnik_ was?? Thank you guys so much! Thank you for leaving kudos and comments! They literally get me through the days! щ(ಥДಥщ)  
>  I'm glad I can contribute quality feels to the fandom. (=^･ω･^)y＝
> 
> Without further ado, please enjoy Vostok! (ﾉ･ω･)ﾉﾞ
> 
> (Comments are always welcome! :3c )

The last thing he remembered was the battle: Voltron going up against its previous Black Lion Paladin full on back at Galra Central Command. There had been utter chaos. Laser beams, silent gun shots, screaming from the coms. Allura's voice coming in choppy and static-y. Druid magic, spilled quintessence.

Then light.

It wasn't the 'I'm dying, going through the tunnel' kind of light. It was bright, and ridiculously, glaringly, magenta. Like the entire Galra empire, their fur, the lights.

Keith woke with a start, bolting up in a seating position with a scream. Eyes blown wide as his eyes darted around his surroundings. It was a calm morning, lights filtering through the open blinds. As he got his panting down to a minimum, heart painfully beating against his chest. A momentum of the last battle. His eyes widen, darting around quick.

_This can't be..._ He thinks, taking a shuddering breath. It was his _room_. His _room_ at the _Garrison_. Before Voltron, before Shiro's disappearance. He could still see the silly little bobble headed astronaut on his desk. His breathing picked up and he jumps out, wearing his old clothes for pajamas.

This can't be right. It can't. What the fuck happened? Why is he back here? Where are his friends? Princess? Coran? Where was Red?

Lance?

He clumsily changed his clothes, anxiety running like the fastest Olympic sprinter. Keith didn't bother to check the time or the calendar, conveniently both on his desk, and stalked out of the room in search of the Paladins.

It was like an odd prick of deja vu. Like he just woke up from a dream. But that _wasn't fucking right._ He hadn't been fighting and risking his life for years to wake up like it was a dream!

Lance, Pidge, Hunk. Where to find them? They can help. Maybe they are freaking out too? As he stalked down the dorm halls to the mess hall, he notices the students part for him. Some seem scared, probably because he was glaring, but Keith knew he was barely holding back a full blown panic. Just barely. He reaches the mess hall, filled with cadets, and takes two steps before he hears the familiar news.

"-- was due to a pilot error."

Keith turns his head to the TV bolted to the wall and froze, eyes wide and body barely containing its anxious trembling.

_No._

He could vaguely register students talking around him, some about him, but he couldn't hear them. He spots the date on the TV. It was a month before he got booted out of this place. After Shiro's initial disappearance, he was able to keep it together for about a month and a half before it got too much. These were old news, news casters talking about it again. Keith had committed these news to memory.

Down the hall came a very familiar voice, Lance's carefree laughter and unabashed flirting.

_Lance._

Keith tears his eyes from the screen, he thinks he feels pinpricks of tears at the bottom of his eyelids that he ignores, and turns to the left. And there he was, Lance, very much alive, very _Lance_ , and next to him was Hunk and an unwilling Pidge dragged along. His heart leaped into his throat as he lurched forward, emotion building in his chest.

"Lance! Pidge! Hunk!" He calls out, loudly, startling everyone around them (including those named), as he books it to close the gap between them immediately.

The three look up. They look very confused, even more so as Keith practically barrels straight into Lance for a crushing hug. He hears him squeak, arms up awkwardly. He lets go a second later, eyes wide.

"What happened? Why are we here? Where are the others?" He asks frantically. The whispers get louder around him. Keith had lost his _loco_.

Lance had a slight blush on his face, Keith isn't sure why, and Pidge and Hunk stare at him like he's grown a pair of Galra ears. His arms are still up from when Keith hugged him. _Why is he doing that?_

"Others? What others? And who are you?" Pidge asks, raising a slender brow.

"Allura, Shiro, Coran? The Lions?" He says, more frantically. _Why aren't they getting it?!_ "Why are you guys acting like you don't remember? _Why_ are we back at the Garrison?" He doesn't care about the other cadets or the teachers looking on, thinking they might need to intervene. Is there going to be a fight again?

Lance finally gets his bearings and coughs as he straightens out.

"Mullet, what the hell are you _talking_ about?" He asks, looking less surprised at Keith's outburst and more annoyed. Keith furrows his brows and opens his mouth, only letting out a soft confused whine before shutting tight.

Nothing was right. Keith gulps in some air, Hunk looks worried.

"But we.. And them... And the war.." He starts, voice getting smaller and smaller, all the while his breathing hitched and sped up. "No, no, no... It wasn't a dream.. That _can't_ have been a dream.."

"War?" Lance looked concerned now, and a little embarrassed by the attention they were getting. This is _not_ the kind of attention he wants. "Okay, buddy, it’s okay.. Come on; let's get you out of here.." He says, arms up in slight surrender as he steps forward and hesitantly reaching out to Keith.

Keith jolts the second Lance's fingertips touch his clothed shoulder and his lowered head (when had it done that?) springs up to stare into Lance's eyes. Breathing harsh and was too shallow and way to quick.

Lance's eyes widened. Well _fuck_ him. His rival is freaking out. On him. Shiiiiit... He grabs Keith's shoulders and gave a squeeze, starting to pull him out of the mess hall and from curious and judging eyes. Keith followed limply and Lance pulled him further and further away. He didn't even know where they were going. Hunk and Pidge followed suit, worried and perhaps just a tad bit curious as to what happened to the golden student of the Garrison.

Lance lead them to the staircase close by that people are always too lazy to take and hid behind them. He sat Keith down and let him rest against the wall, knees brought up to his chest as he swallows deep breaths at Lance's insistence, an unusually gentle hand on the back of his neck. Lance kneeled down next to him, taking purposeful deep breaths for Keith to mimic.

It works, but it takes a long time until Keith is calm enough to pick up his head. He looks wretched, and it keeps Lance from saying any snarky remarks when he saw how vulnerable he looks. No cocky, holier than thou attitude. No brows furrowed in annoyance at his presence. It choked up his own throat watching him.

Hunk sits cross legged a foot or two away, Pidge nestled to his left.

"Are you feeling okay to talk now?" Hunk asks gently, also nearly in tears. He's always been an empathetic one.

Keith sucks in a shaky breath. Lance's hand is still on his neck and it comforts him.

"Why... Are you guys acting like nothing happened?"

"Well, we don't know what you're talking about."

"You said something about Shiro, the pilot?" Pidge pipes up, serious. Keith bites his lip, focusing on the hand on his neck to calm himself again.

It was just him. Only he knew. The others didn't remember. Why was it only him?

"The Kerberos mission wasn't due to pilot error. Your brother is still alive, Pidge. He's _out there_." He says, looking at them. Their eyes pop practically pop out of their head, mouth gaped opened.

"How do you know I have a brother?"

"We've known each other for years now, Pidge." He stresses, blood pressure starting rise again. Lance gave his neck a gentle squeeze. Lance didn't get what Keith is talking about, nor did he really believe him but.. "I know you like to keep a diary of the communication waves we received beyond Kerberos, your records here are falsified, to find Matt and your father. They've been taken... We were fighting, and somehow... I just woke up _back here."_ He stresses with a quick intake of breath. Pidge is deathly quiet, staring at him unabashedly.

"Blue, we need to get to Blue." Keith says suddenly and he's trying to stand.

"Whoa, whoa, there, buddy. Slow down, no. Sit." Lance coaxes him back down with the hand on his neck. Keith turns his eyes to him, wide again.

"We _need_ to get back to them!" He nearly yells, his voice echoing off the walls in the stairwell. He was breathing hard again and Lance _really_ didn't know how to handle people when they freak out on him. He wishes he did now, because Hunk is nearly crying too and Pidge is still frozen.

"Shhh, shhh, okay. Okay." He says, squeezing the back of his neck gently again. "Breathe," he reminds Keith, taking deep breaths. "Just... Breathe." He hums; Keith takes a moment before slouching against Lance's side. They stay in silence for a handful of minutes.

"A month ago, Kerberos crew was declared dead, weren't they? Pilot error.." Keith says quietly. He takes a shaky breath. "In a year, Shiro will crash land on earth in an alien escape pod.. And we will rescue him. We'll find Blue, go to a different galaxy, fight the enemy. Form Voltron.."

Keith had his eyes closed and the other three shared a look that said 'he's crazy, and we are worried because he is supposed to be Garrison's golden boy'. Best of his class. He's gone cookoo. And _why_ were they suddenly sitting behind a staircase, talking to said golden student? This is probably the first time they hung out socially.

"It wasn't a dream.. It _can't_ be.." Keith murmurs, screwing his closed eyes shut like he was trying to convince himself.

"It _wasn't_ a dream and I can prove it."

//

Keith bites his lip, rummaging through papers in his room as the other three sit on his bed, watching him with various degrees of sympathy and worry. He slams down a notebook he was flipping through as he realizes that what he was looking for wouldn't be here.

"Shit..." Keith curses, clicking his tongue. Maybe he could just feel where she is? Like last time? It wasn't close to the shack, but it was closer to his shack than it was to the Garrison. "We need to get off campus."

"Whoa whoa whoa, hold up." Hunk says as he stands, arms raised. "Isn't leaving here dangerous? We'll definitely get in trouble."

"Why do we need to get off campus?" Pidge pipes up from where they study Keith, wondering how they know about their life and family.

"Blue isn't here. She's _out there_." He points to a set of mountains out his window. Yes. Those are definitely them. Lance perks up.

"She? There's a lady out there named Blue and we have to find her? Sign me up." He grins, already psyching himself up. Keith rolls his eyes, but doesn't try to explain that Blue is _not_ a lady.. Well, she might be. But she definitely isn't human. "When do we go?"

"Tonight." Keith answers, getting his bandanna and ties it around his neck just in case he needs it. The others look around wearily. "We don't have time to wait." He says as he starts walking to the door. The others sigh and stand up to follow.

They had about an hour before lock-down and Pidge offered to show them the best way to get around the guards. At least it was better than hiding in trashcans. _I resent that!_ Lance yells indignantly and gets a hand slapped onto his mouth for being loud.

So here they were, in the desert on a chilly night, trying to find the mountains Keith insists they need to find. He takes a breath, closes his eyes, and _feels_.

_Blue._

Keith repeats her name like a mantra in his head, gentle, then urgent. He feels a familiar tug at his consciousness. It isn't something like he had with Red, it was lighter, barely at the surface. Then it got stronger. A sense of confusion, then a return of urgency.

"Found you," he smiles and starts to run, the others call his name but he doesn't stop. They run after him. Once he reaches the cave he looks inside. It was dark, but he could definitely see the lion carvings on the inside. Keith waits for them to catch up, and they're panting hard by the time they reach him.

"Couldn't you.. Run any slower?" Hunk huffs.

"What're we doing here anyway?" Lance asks once he catches his breath, taking a careful step inside the cave. Keith follows and Hunk and Pidge tiptoe after. Maybe they should have waited for day break.

But then the carvings light up light blue and there is a symbol they stand on that breaks and sends them tumbling down, down, down.

//

Keith grunts and groans as he sits up, rubbing his ass and lower back as he stands. He really should've remembered how painful it was the first time.

"Holy crow.." He hears Lance intake a quick breath, no doubt eyes wide and staring unabashedly at Blue and her shield. When Keith looks at the Lance, he knows he's right.

"Is this Voltron?" Pidge asks, dusting off their shorts. Keith gets to his feet and shakes his head, listening, reading, responding to the cacophony of sentient waves and tries to quell the growing panic that lodged in his throat.

"Keith, what're you.." Lance starts as he stalks right up to the barrier and places his forehead on it, palms touching and feeling the electrical currents.

There was a lot of confusion.

How did he find her? Who was he? How does he know about them? Altea? Zarkon's reign?

Keith takes a breath, trying to send a calming wave after wave to Blue. He will explain soon, he has her paladin. There isn't much time... There is, but he doesn't want to wait an entire year to get Shiro back if he can help it.

"Blue..." Keith murmurs, haven only calmed her down marginally. He lifts his head away from the barrier.

"Lance, come here."

Lance watches him skeptically but gets up and comes over after a pause.

"What?"

"How are we supposed get in?" Pidge asks and Keith suppresses a chuckle.

" _Maybe we just have to knock_." Keith says as Lance does, giving two knocks on the barrier. Lance is looking at him weirdly for saying it at the same time, only for his attention to be brought back to Blue as her shield dissipates and she kneels down with her maw wide open.

Keith watches him fondly. As he looks on wide eyed then looks around. Lance grins, and stalks forward into her waiting mouth. He looks back at Pidge, who was excited and runs in after, and then Hunk, who hesitates and looks between the open jaws, Keith, and then back again before he tiptoes his way in.

Keith follows in last; swiping his hands along the walls and reliving memories he swears he remembers. Fingers following the light of the blue along the hallway, the groves of metal that lead to the bunker. He hears Lance squeak as the pilot seat charges toward the controls. Reluctantly, Keith lets go of the wall and the memories it held, in the future, and goes to take his stand behind the seat.

Lance is smiling, cocky. Keith feels pangs in his chest as he looks at the left of Lance's profile. No scar. He bites his lip.

"How did you know this was here?" Lance looks at him, their rivalry momentarily forgotten. Keith tries not to get lost in the brilliant blue of his eyes. He hears Blue growl. It turns into a purr when he blinks out of his stupor.

"She was here, all this time." He says, he knows from before. He hopes Lance doesn't hate him like he did the first time. Hopes they get over the huddle quick. Keith really misses the heat of his skin. "She's yours, Lance."

"She? You mean, this is the thing you were talking about?"

"If by thing, you mean Blue, then yes." Keith says softly, hearing the warning growl of being called a thing at the back of his head. "You can hear her, can't you?"

//

Keith grips onto the head rest hard. He forgot how Lance used to fly. Hunk and Pidge didn't do any better at holding on, hair was pulled, taunts were said, but once they exited the Earth's atmosphere, his flying smoothed out.

"Oh my god... Is that _Kerberos?"_ Pidge's voice brought him back. He nods. As they fly by within ticks, they admire the craters on the clump of a planet. It was very different to see it when they weren't being chased by Galra.

"What the hell is that?" Lance brings their attention forward, to the open wormhole. "I think.. I think the lion wants us to go through it..."

"Go," Keith says softly, stepping closer to the pilot chair if only to bring back a sense of future brought to the past normalcy.

"Why do you get to decide?" Lance looks up at him with a glare, lips pursed and brows brought together distrustingly. Keith tries not to think about it. This was their relationship first, after all. Connection that was there but simmered at a temperature of absolute zero.

"It's our destiny." Keith takes a step or two forward, placing his hand over Lance's and urges the thrusters toward it. He misses the way Lance's cheeks redden as he listens to the happy chirps and mewls of Blue as they jump, irregardless of the opinion of the other three. Keith has her back, just as she had always had his back. He was going to make sure their connections stay as they were before.

"Uh, by destiny, what do you mean by that? Because I really don't want to get mixed up in something that will, you know, kill me?" Hunk says; worry lacing his voice and Keith pushes away the memory of how numb Hunk went. Eyes staring straight ahead without registering anything.

"You'll be okay, Hunk.. We all will..." Keith hopes. If he was the only one with the knowledge of what happened before, he could change the future, right?

This was an opportunity. They had an entire year before Shiro came back. They could get a lot done with an extra year. They could get the lions, they could get Red. They could get Shiro, and Matt, and maybe even have a chance to save Pidge's father.  They have more chances than before. Keith feels it. Before, he might not have wanted this opportunity, but he has it now.

Just because he was sent back doesn't mean they, the team, are gone now. What if he was just dreaming? All of this, a weird dream. The others are safe, while he was stuck in limbo and his body frozen in a cryopod.

"What's that planet?" Lance asks, shaking off Keith's hand off his own. The wormhole closed behind them and he was feeling just a bit salty about his control being taken.

"Arus." Keith says quietly, hand back at his side and clenching into a fist to keep the heat with him as long as he could.

Blue takes them to the castle, perches in the courtyard. Keith follows after all of them, reluctant to leave the comfort and safety of Blue's metal body. The memories he still remembers lingering on his new skin. Old skin, he thinks. The one that wasn't littered with scars of war.

Keith walks ahead while Blue stands and lets out a deafening roar. The castle doors open when he is a few feet away.

"Keith, where the hell are you going?" He doesn't answer and they follow after him anyway. What else were they going to do stranded on an alien planet? Keith pushes down lingering sensations of memories he hasn't experienced yet. Standing still at the bottom of the stairwell while the castle scans them. The thrum of technology ten thousands of year’s old, magic that was alive from before. It dances on his skin, but he couldn't grasp it. Not like before.

//

The lights turn on as they walk, down the corridor, up the stairs, down another hallway.

Keith feels like time is frozen while he feels it passing by. They stand in the center of the crypod room. They flinch as two of them sprout up from the floor.

"Are those... people?" Hunk gulps, wringing his hands together. He will have come a long way in a few years, Keith thinks. He hopes it will just take them seeing what this was for them to remember all they've been through.

One of the pods hissed and opened, Allura falling out with a gasp of _Father!_ Lance catches her, tries to woo her. Keith only lets this go on because he knows-- oh, there it is. She has Lance in a bind.

"Who are you? Where are the other paladins?" She looks around, frantic. Lance is let go and he pouts, rubbing his ear.

"Ask him, he's the one who brought us here." Allura looks to Keith, who finally finds it in him to speak, though his throat felt blocked.

"Princess," He addressed, ideas flitting through his head. Should he tell her now? Everything? "We are the new paladins." He says first and she furrows her brow.

"You can't be." She turns, now uncaring and deeming the four of them incapable of killing her enough for her to look at the controls, to see how long they've been asleep. Meanwhile Coran is ejected from the pod.

" _Intruder in the castle!"_ He yells and jumps at Lance. Keith doesn't pay attention as he watches Allura.

"Impossible.. We've been asleep... for ten thousand years." Allura says, her voice is breaking. Keith is quiet throughout the scene, realizing with great difficulty that Shiro is not among them. The only lions at the castle were Blue and Black.

"Princess." He calls, after they've gotten the stowaway mice from the pods. "We need to talk... You might need to sit down for this."

//

At Keith's behest, they all gathered at the common room right next to the kitchen. Allura and Coran watch him with wonder as he gets the clothed roots from the cupboards and uses their technology with ease. The Garrison trio, too, watch on, though Lance is mostly trying to get Allura's attention and failing once she doesn't rise up to his flirting.

Keith brings a tray of tea cups, filled with an old Altean recipe to induce calmness. He bites his lip as he sets some pink cubes onto a plate, along with a plate of cookies that had the consistency of cheese. He sets it on the coffee table and sits down, taking a seat right next to Lance out of habit. Lance only makes a face.

"How.. How do you know all that?"

Keith is quiet, taking tongs to put two pink cubes into his drink. How does he even begin?

"Everything is wrong, Allura.. Everything," he takes a sip, it does marginal effect to quell his panic, he wishes Lance's hand was back on his neck. "You.. You don't remember either? Me, Lance, anyone?" He chances a look up at her. She was confused, beyond so, and she didn't want to waste time sitting around with jurjur and laver when she just slept through ten thousand years of war. But she had to, this was important.

Keith's veins feel colder despite the jurjur he drank warming his hands. This feeling hadn't been around for a while.

Isolation.

The jarring difference. Lance, still his height. Pidge, so small. Hunk, so full of light. He remembers the last time he saw them. They all exchanged looks, of determination, of fear of the outcome. Their eyes dark, _it was his fault_ , shoulders slouched forward and tense.

"I don't know if you'll believe me..." Keith pauses. Breathe, Keith, breathe. "Allura, I don't know what happened.. Why we are back here, why this is the first time we're meeting... Allura, I---" Just say it, say it and get it over with. Everything was messed up and gone, anyway. "-- Allura, we're half siblings."

There was silence from the the entire party. Allura's eyes wide and scrutinizing.

_"What?!!"_ The human trio exclaimed. "No fucking way!" Lance says, staring at him with a look Keith refuses to decipher. His glare was cold, the way he was blamed. Keith tries not to rise up to his taunts, but he does. He feels colder every comment Lance makes against him. Shiro wasn't here to break up their fights.

"Alright, calm down. I know how to settle this." Coran stops them instead. Keith is glad to shut his mouth. "A DNA test, will you be willing to give a sample?"

//

"Oh my god, you're a fucking alien. You. Are. A. God damn. _Alien."_ Lance says, his loud voice practically echoes through the room. "And you've known all this time? How the fuck am I supposed to compete with an alien?"

Keith ignores them, studies Allura. Studies her demeanor change to hopeful and accepts the hug she gives. Lance sputters and goes quiet next to Hunk, jealous. He doesn't have to be, he thinks, he'd rather hug Lance.. But Lance doesn't want to touch him with a ten foot pole right about now.

"Brother," Allura murmurs, pulling away and wiping the onslaught of fresh tears.

"There's something else." Keith says, he can't keep it secret.

"Like what?" Allura asks.  Lance groans.

"What now?" Keith ignores the tone in his voice.

"I'm half Galra."

Silence. Allura's heat is gone from his body in half a tick. Her eyes go through several emotions. He remembers those glaring eyes, full of hate.

Stop it, stop it, _stop it._

_"I didn't always know!"_ He shouts over her. "I found out _after!_ When the spell wore off! When--" When indeed. "A year from now..." He shakes his head. "It doesn't matter when, or why or how. We need the lions. The Black paladin is still in Galra hands."

"How can we trust you?"

Keith feels an old ugly emotion bubble under his skin. Suspended out in the void of space as he watched the others jump through a wormhole. How he had felt _everything_ was his fault.

_Stop. I know what you’re thinking._

Keith shuts his eyes, feeling them burn.

"I woke you up! I've nearly died plenty of times for your cause! I brought the paladins to you! I know where the lions are! _I am the Red Paladin!"_

Keith sees them move, talk. He doesn't understand what they're saying. Noise is muted. How can one describe tunnel vision without the tunnel part? It was like, you look forward, and everything besides the focal point is blurred. Except now even that was blurring.

Where was he anyway? He was in the castle, yes, that he remembers. But.. Where was he again? Why was it so hard to breathe?

Heat is seeping into his side, an arm is around his shoulder while another touches his face.

_"Keith? Keith!"_ The voices are muffled, like he was hearing through a pane of glass or trying to hear through water. He blinks, realizes he was crouched on his knees in fetal position. His hand bunched up in the fabric of his black shirt, shaking terribly.

Panic. It starts to fester again.

"Keith, come on, Keith. Shh, breathe. Breathe.." Lance's voice got clearer. It was his heat he was leeching off of. Keith realizes he could barely suck in half a breath. He follows the purposeful large inhales and exhales Lance did for his sake.

Stress. That was made him change in the first place.

_Oh no._ Keith blinks away the tears, staring at the floor. The Galra soldier blinks up at him, the lights in his eyes dimming as he gargles something Keith can't understand at the time. There's a pressure on his heart. He can't do this, he can't--

"Keith! Calm down, you're okay."

_Not again.._

//

Keith is latched onto Lance's side for the rest of the day. Once he was brought back to reality, the worried looks of the make-shift team made him go silent.

_Stop doing that.._

_But.._

_No. Shh._

He can't act like this. He can't. He was the one. The one to shoulder their combined pressures. He needed to be stronger. He had to.

//

Lance purses his lips, chancing a glance down at the boy who clung to his side with a vice like grip. Keith sucks in a deep breath, holds it, and exhales. Guilt tugs at his heart and he doesn't know why. Maybe Keith didn't really deserve all his unprecedented hate. Though, usually, Keith would react with just as much annoyance to him. Something wasn't right. That was for sure.

So, just for right now he would stomp down his usual resentment and let Keith have this moment. Though, Lance really doesn't know why it has to be him. Allura seemed like the better choice, anyway. That's who he would have chosen to comfort him.

Anyway.

Lance sighs, huffing out a quick breath and stared at the ceiling. The Alteans had graciously given them their own rooms-- well. They gave _Hunk and Pidge_ their own rooms. They gave Lance _his_ room and Keith refused to leave it.  It was tiring to have to walk on eggshells around the guy, especially having to bring him back from one of his episodes.

Lance would gladly do it, but he isn't really the best person to deal with these things considering his personality and his completely nonexistent experience with these _things._

Keith relaxes marginally. The cold from his hands seep into Lance's side. He tries not to flinch away, instead, awkwardly, very awkwardly, wraps an arm around his shoulders. There was another sigh from Keith and his shoulders slump. Lance wanted to talk, but anything he said had a potential to be met with silence and any taunts or jeers could be met with another episode.

God, this was _really_ awkward. For him, at least. Keith didn't seem to care for cuddling a rival after a nice hot bath in the middle of an intergalactic war. In the same bed. Under the same covers... Was it hot in here? Lance thought he was probably blushing all the way up to his ears. His heart hammered against his chest.

Keith doesn't seem to mind though, comfortably nestling under his arm and even closer to him. The blankets were brought up to cover his chin and ears. Lance waits.

When he feels Keith reach normal body temperature, mostly from stealing his heat (rude), his breath evens out and his body goes limp. He does, however, keep an unyielding grip on his pajama shirt.

It was almost... cute.

Um, no. Back up, Lance. You can't think your rival if cute, even if his hair is floofy and silky after using alien shampoo and conditioner and it feels nice to twirl it between his fingers. Lance sighs. There was too much information for the day. And apparently said cuddling rival was an alien all along?

Lance sighs again and closes his eyes.

//

How can someone feel _red_? Was there such a thing? It was hard to describe. There was pressure in his veins, pumping harder and harder, just after a challenging workout.

The tingle at the base of his skull, spreading to his entire head that leaves him feeling euphoric. Red, like taking a bite of a sweetened ripe apple. Red, like the emotions he felt when he thought of Lance. When he traces old scars that stuck out like a sore thumb on his dark skin and leaving kisses that express his regret, his love, and his promises.

Red, like the personality of his lion. Firey, head-strong, powerful.

Red.

_Paladin?_

_Red!_

Keith's eyes shot open as he sits up, panting and looking around the dim room. Lance grumbles by his side, jarred from his sleep.

"What're you doing.." He mumbles. "G' back t' bed.." He huffs, nuzzling his face in the pillow. But Keith _couldn't_ go back to sleep. He could still feel the tingle of a sentient thought that wasn't his own at the very edges of his consciousness.

Red's here. She was close. Keith had to go get her. _Needed_ to go to her.

//

The paladin suit felt odd to wear after years of donning druid robes. He remembers the fine stitch work of gold thread over white and red fabric. The swell in his chest at being given such a gift. Remembers the heat on his skin, scorching hot and leaving much accepted trails. He puts his hands over his arms, feeling them tingle and tries to keep the heat trapped with his hands.

Keith watches Lance tease Pidge about their bayard. Huffs a chuckle as Lance is shocked, quite literally, into silence.

The armor is heavier than his gift.

"Keith, are you sure you'll be alright?" Allura asks, stepping up to his side. He meets her eyes and nods.

"I'll be fine. We need to get the rest of the lions... and Shiro." He pauses. "The Black Paladin." He says, seeing her confusion. "He should be on the same ship Red is on.... I felt her last night."

Keith watches the trio play with their activated bayards. Fondness washes over him at the same time he feels a prickle in his heart.

"I'm not wasting another moment."

//

Lance doesn't understand why Keith won't leave him alone. He huffed and puffed about it, and now that Keith finally conceded to go to his own room, he felt guilty. He shouldn't feel guilty about needing his own space. Why was Keith so obsessed with him? Great, Lance turns in his bed, now he can't sleep.

See what Keith did to him? Keith is probably in his own room, sleeping peacefully. Lance huffs and throws off his blankets, slipping on his blue lion slippers, he left his room to traverse the hall.

All in all, Lance hasn't really let the reality sink into him yet. That he was galaxies away from home, from earth. Even though he helped Hunk get the Yellow lion and Pidge got Green, he still doesn't get it. He thinks on it as he slides his feet across the pristine floors to the kitchen.

Lance turns the corner and freezes. There he was, standing with a hot cup of something like nothing was wrong, while here Lance was, unable to sleep because of him... Why was he awake, too? He opens his mouth, and then closes it as he watches. Keith hasn't realized he was in the room.

Keith's eyes were looking in the cup, presumably at his reflection. His mouth moves with subtle murmurs, fingers twitch around his cup. Lance swears he sees the sparks of purple light underneath his fingertips and the flash of his eyes into a sunshine gold. Lance worried he wasn't entirely there.

"Keith..?" He asks quietly and makes his way over. No response. Lance hesitates before putting an arm on his shoulder. "Keith?"

Immediately, Keith gasps, the cup he grasped shatters into pieces and spills hot liquid on his hand. He blinks, looking to Lance. He furrows his brow.

"What?"

"Don't 'what' me! What the hell?" He says, grabbing a towel nearby to dab down Keith's hands. His hands were burned, but not too badly. How is Keith not in pain? He wonders as he looks up at the culprit. Keith was only watching him, something Lance can't recognize in his eyes. "... Are you alright?" He asks, softer.

".. Y-yeah... I'm.. I'm fine.. Thank you." Keith's voice was quiet, unnervingly so.

"What were you doing?" Lance asks as he cleans up the rest of the spilled whatever it was and throws away the broken cup. Damn, he must be ripped to be able to break the cup with just his hand. It's not like it was made of glass. Keith holds his hurt hand to his chest, looking down at the mess.

"Just.. Thinking.."

"No, I mean, what are you doing up? You should be asleep." Keith looks like he was about to protest, snark back that he should be asleep, too. He doesn't. He glances up and then away.

"I can't sleep alone..."

//

Lance really should have thought this through before he agreed to become a paladin. Before he agreed to let Keith sleep snuggled at his side, holding onto him like a lifeline. Lance can't handle the immense pressure. But, he thinks, at least Keith is looking better than a few days ago when he reached out to them at the Garrison.

Keith sleeps soundly enough, eats a few bites at meals, all the while he and Allura make plans to attack the Galra ship a solar system away.

Keith makes plans like he has long since been battle hardened. And maybe he was. Maybe what he was saying before was real. That they'd already gone over this, that they had been fighting for years. Lance's head hurts when he thinks too much about it.

Keith is slouching when he wears his paladin armor, in the control room mapping out the ship. He sets a flag where the Red lion is, and shakes his head when they ask about Shiro.

Lance watches Keith breathe, steady, rhythmically, like he has to focus on it. Watches the way his chest rises and falls, a little on the shallow side. His eyes stare forward, through the glass panes of the control room. He still isn't all there, but at least he reacts whenever someone talks to him, asks him questions. There hasn't been another episode, Lance was glad for that. Both for the fact that it seems Keith was better and that he didn't have a chance to mess up if he had to help bring him back. 

Lance brings him that weird tea ( _"It's called jurjur." Keith says, amused at his scrunched up face when he tries it)_ and pink sugar-thingies every once in a while. He himself still doesn't feel that any of this is real. But, as he pinches himself and pouts as he rubs at the sore spot, it has to be.

//

Pidge corners him a day before they are supposed to be sent to Sendak's ship. Well, more like stops him from taking refuge in the training room. They loiter around in an empty hallway, everyone else is asleep. They got this far, but they seem to hesitate on what they wanted to say, mind blank. Keith doesn't push them to form their words. 

It takes a few minutes of silence until Pidge forms the words. 

"How.. Did you know about my family?" Innocent question, but he's already answered that. 

"Because this isn't the first time we've met. I know you, but everyone else has forgotten.. I don't know why." He tacks on. "We'll get them back, Katie." Pidge's eyes widen, shocked. Keith attempts to smile kindly, probably failing. "I'll keep your secret safe."

//

Keith has told them the plan over and over. He'll be offense. He may not know where Shiro is being held, but at least he knows how to fight. Hunk and Lance are Pidge's backup and cover. When they ask who his cover was, he tells them he'll be fine. He trusts them to back him up if he ever gets into a bind, though it might be misplaced at this point in time. 

Keith purses his lips, feeling like he has forgotten something important. He shakes his head.

"Let's go. Pidge, have you installed the stealth mode into Green?" They nod. "We'll take her to the ship. Once in, we'll go to the gladiator prisoner cells..." He pauses, thinking hard. "They should be around the center." Keith takes a calming breath. 

"We go in, get Shiro, and get out. If we have time, we'll download any information we can. Understood?" Pidge and Hunk nod, serious. Lance, however, huffs and nods, feeling miffed at taking orders. 

Keith catches Lance before they follow to Green, a hand on his shoulder and a squeeze. 

"I'm counting on your skills, Lance." Lance pauses, torn between huffing again and saying of course he is, and blushing at the wayward compliment. Because, if he was counting on Lance's skill, that means he has skill, right? He nods, opting to not start a fight before a rescue mission. Keith goes ahead, shoulders squared and back straight. 

//

They've been going around for a few minutes. Hunk carries around a drone arm to open doors. Keith is anxious. What if he was wrong? What if Shiro _wasn't_ on this ship? What if he was transferred later?

"This way." He says, pushing himself up against the corner to a new hallway. It was more guarded then the rest. At least they were going the right way. He feels a tingle at his palms and looks down. They sparked with quintessence. 

Keith listens to the sentries walk away, then steps around the corner. Only to be met with a muscular body. It sends him a foot back, hand at his bayard. He sees a hand glow purple and he barely defends.

"Shiro!" He exclaims, maybe a little too loudly. He looks ragged, eyes wide as Keith deactivated his bayard. 

".. _Keith?"_ There was noise beyond them. Keith clicks his tongue and grabs Shiro's arm-- human arm, and tugs him backwards. 

"Follow them, Shiro, they'll take you off the ship." He is pulling Shiro who is still in a stupor. Hunk is running ahead to open doors and make sure the coast is clear. It wouldn't be for long as the alarms go off. Escaped prisoner. 

Not long after he hands Shiro over for Lance to handle and helps Hunk make a path back to Green. His hands tingle more, and he thinks it's because he is in such close contact with Haggar's magic. 

"Go, go now! The wormhole will be open for another half hour." He yells once they get to the hole in the wall they made to get in. 

"Wait-- what about you?" Lance furrows his brows, handing off Shiro to Hunk as they jump into Green's mouth. 

"I'll be right behind you. I can't leave Red here."

"Then I'm going with you." Keith managed to not roll his eyes. He really doesn't want Lance to come. The window of opportunity was closing. If he needed to slash through soldiers, he didn't want Lance to watch. 

"Lance, no. Go back to the castle." More tingling. There's noise down the hall.

_"Intruders!"_ Keith tenses and raises his hand to them and _pushes_. It sends a heavy pulse down the hall where they came from and sends Keith and Lance two feet back to be pushed up against the wall with a grunt. 

_"We need to go! Now!"_ Pidge yells into the coms. Keith groans.

"Go! Lance is with me. We'll meet you at the castle."

_"Roger."_

Keith hopes this was the right move as he gets back onto his feet. He helps Lance up by his arm and pulls them in the opposite direction. 

//

It's a lot easier to find Red than first time. But he does have the additional baggage of Lance trailing behind him. Forget stealth, they forced their way through without hesitation.

Red's down the hall, two lefts, third door down. The sentries miss them by seconds as they step into the loading dock, looking up at Red. She's suspended, shield up. He feels a purr in the back of his mind. Keith grins, replying to her in kind as he steps up to her shield. He almost laughs when he shows her the first time, if she remembered. 

"Keith! Hurry up and have her open up!"

She doesn't, not exactly. Red's shield goes down as there are knocks on the door of the area, and Keith is in her pilot seat before they even know who was piloting her. Lance stands to his right. 

_Paladin!_

"Good kitty." 

//

It's chaos trying to get back to the castle. There were dozens of Galra drones trying to take them down. Red was hit a few times, growling when they hit something fragile. They almost didn't make it. Almost.

Red careens through the wormhole just in the nick of time. Lance is cheering beside him, like he wasn't screaming for his life a minute ago.

_"Paladins, come in."_

"Docking now, be there in a few." Keith answers back, not bothering to turn on the video communicator.

When Red touches down on the floor in the hangar, she and Keith let out their own versions of a sigh. Lance is out in seconds when she opens her mouth while Keith takes a few moments to look at her controls.

He knows he should probably go to Shiro, explain everything. But Red's purrs are insisting he stays for just a moment longer. They're imploring.

_We've never met but I know you._

_Paladin's quintessence is like a twin._

_I felt you for years._

That last part was weird. Keith wasn't aware of her the first time until they got to the castle. And this time it was only a few days until he felt her presence. 

Well, he had some other ideas. He knew his mother was Haggar. His father was a rebel. But, he thinks about the rather very large time frame, how old was he, really? He assumed in his late teens, since that was all he could remember of earth. Maybe he was closer to Allura's age? Though still younger than her.

Maybe he had an entire life before earth he doesn't remember. Maybe the adolescence stage, like the gestation period, was longer than human adolescence?

_They're waiting for you, Paladin._ Red hums at him, gently ushering him out of her cock pit. He left the bayard and helmet by the pilot seat.

Keith thinks he should stop thinking. It was getting him more confused. Well, it was just jumbling everything he was thinking about and it was hard to find the correct lines when they were all squiggled together.

Breathe in. Hold. Exhale.

Keith took up his old breathing exercise and hadn't even noticed.

//

Shiro had been given new clothes. They fit him nice, Keith thinks, even if they are more colorful than what he typically associates with him. Coran had given him dark pants, black. The shirt he wore was three colors, much like the multicolored clothes the Alteans wore, a deep shade of blue that looked nearly black, sleeveless, that covered his back in wraps over his shoulders and ends at like coat tails. It ended at his sternum, the rest covered by a royal blue undershirt, the bottom half being an eggshell white.

Keith remembers Allura telling him Alteans preferred cool colors, compared to the Galra, who, historically, liked warmer colors. For Galra, he remembers the warmer colors are easier to look at. How, even now, the lights in the castle strain his eyes while Red's dim lights calm him down.

"Keith?"

Keith blinks, looking up at the group of people resting on the couch. Their faces show hesitance and he stands up straighter.

"What?"

Allura is the one to come over with a hand mirror. He takes it with a raised brow, lifting to see himself in the reflection at her urging. He nearly drops the mirror.

"Holy shit." Lance watches the way his fingers nimbly brush over the marks under his eyes. They're not perfect, but they're not terribly marred either. They're stretched, a small corner stretching up to his eyes. The bottom corner elongated to be closer to his cheek bones.

Keith turns his head, sees the corners of his ears come to a distinct point. They're discolored, taking on the same mauve tint he sees littering in patches on his neck.

_"Lance, language."_ He hears Shiro scold. Before Keith looks up, he sees his eyes glaze over in that familiar gold. They don't solidify, though. His pupils and iris are seen at a darker color of gold.

_"Gold suits you, my Prince." Lance says teasingly, wrapping a shimmering gold scarf around his neck and pulls him into a chaste kiss._

Keith blinks, his vision focuses on his team.

"Holy shit." Lance says again.

_"Lance."_ Shiro nearly growls in warning. Keith could laugh at how Shiro could be thrown into an intergalactic war and _still_ worry about English expletives.

"Yeah, _Lance,_ children are present." Keith taunts but it doesn't have a lot of weight to it. If anything, it was teasing. If Keith could name it, he would even call it flirtatious. 

Lance sputters, cheeks turning red. He doesn't babble anything out besides a few syllables before crossing his arms and leaning back against the couch. Ah, yes. The Paladin of Cool. Keith's lips quirk upward in a smile and he doesn't stop the laugh bubbling from his lips.

//

It was a good thing they got Black out from the castle not many hours after Shiro settled in. Keith forgot one important thing, that they still had to defeat Sendak and his fleet. He could feel them coming closer and closer. They would be there in a mere hour.

He forgot Haggar could _feel_ energies. Sense _Altean_ energy. Feel it crawl on her skin, like he can.

"Paladins, get to your lions!" Allura's voice was loud and strong over the intercoms. Keith was already in his pilot seat before she finished her sentence. He worries about the others. They haven't formed Voltron for the first time yet, either. He just hopes the others can read what he sends through the lion's bonds. Read that _they can do this_ and they will. 

//

Keith doesn't know why he felt worried. Destiny brought them together for a reason, of course they would be competent enough to be able to take on anything that gets in their way. 

Except now that he knows how things are going to end, he could change them. He had been given _another_ chance. The chance to save that light in their eyes. It was bad to think in such simple terms, but he was a simple person. 

A soldier with specific instructions: defend the universe.

This time Lance is not hurt in the explosion during Sendak's sneak in. In fact, they were gone from Arus in a days’ time after Sendak's defeat. Rover was never added to their team, and thus couldn't have been used against them. Pidge doesn't threaten to leave, as Keith had provided valuable intel and opportunities to getting her brother and father back.

They also never go save the Balmera. Or, had Keith not remembered, they would not have. At the demise of the former champion turned robobeast, he urged Allura to go save Balmera. It was going to perish if they didn't step in to save them.

Keith also let them be duped by Rolo and Nyma. Call him petty, but he thought Lance deserved it when he took up to flirting with a random girl when they've been _bonding_ much better. He doesn't know if knowing what will happen is automatically a good thing. But right now, he thinks the pros outweigh the cons. 

Once Keith picks up Lance and gives him back to Blue, they save Balmera in an instant. Not much of an instant, but really, it was quicker than before. 

Hunk meets Shay. The hangar is disabled in a matter of a handful of earth minutes. Then they were outside getting rid of the rest of the drones. 

"We've got company." Keith breathes, clenching his fists on his controls. There was a pulse to his left. He lets Shiro call the shots. He needs to maintain a sense of normalcy. Though he knows, he watches as things play out. 

//

Allura watches as the Balmerans come up to the surface in varying degrees of hesitancy. She spiels her democratic spiel and introduces them after she recovers from the ceremony. Keith is exiting his lion while the others have already congregated around her. His helmet sits uncomfortably against his head and he takes it off as he comes near. 

There is a collection of gasps that turns into uncomfortable silence. He blinks as he looks at them, but when he feels his ears twitch to the side he understands why. Why his helmet hurt to wear, why every noise he heard over the coms were three times as loud. His Galra ears stood up proudly on his head. He refused to lower them, refused to flatten them back in a show of fear. 

"You have.. A Galra on your side?" Shay questions, voice small and fearful. Rax tenses behind her. He probably won’t attack him. 

"Princess." Keith says calmly, taking excruciating pains not to move suddenly or reach for his bayard, all eyes on them.  Allura looks to him and smiles back. When she diminished the space between them and hugged him, he returned the gesture if only to show the Balmerans of their trust for one another.

"Little brother." She calls him and looks back to the onlookers. Keith pretends he doesn't see Lance pouting at the affection they openly showed. 

"Brother?" The elder parrots as she hobbles over, examining them both. Keith gives a princely bow if only to keep up pretenses until everyone calms down.

"Yes, ma'am." He lets those eyes of her scan him over, stare into his own. There is the sensation of fingertips on the back of his neck that he ignores, there wasn't anyone near him besides Allura and the elder. After she finds what she needs, she smiles kindly at him.

"We thank you, Red Paladin." Keith lets out a breath he didn't know he was holding. He had nothing to hide, he chose this. But still, it was unnerving to see the eyes that once looked at him with reverence look at him with fear and hatred.

"My god, are you even real?" Lance is at his side after a terse silence, pulling at his ear. It was a gentle tug, like he was making sure they couldn't be pulled off.

"I'm sure they're about as real as your ego." Keith shoots back, grinning when Lance falters, unsure if he should take it as an insult. When he grins, his teeth are sharp points and when he sees Lance flinch, he takes care to smile closed-lipped. 

_"You're a piranha, they're in the Am-a-zon." Lance says as he has a finger trace over the tips of his fangs in fascination._

_"Ich hah-- is that a reference?" Keith asks, careful to remove Lance's very vulnerable flesh when he spoke._

_"Figures you wouldn't know Finding Nemo." Lance's fingers are back on his fangs and Keith rolls his eyes, letting the weirdo poke around in his mouth for fun and 'science'. The padded flesh goes further, rubs along his tongue that wasn't entirely unlike a cat's. The majority of his tongue was slick, excluding the tiny backwards spikes that cats had to clean themselves. Except, his didn't feel rough. They had grooves and bumps for added texture, but they weren't rough. Lance grins and raises a brow, letting them wiggle as if to suggest--- Keith's blush darkened his skin, taking the hand away._

_"Pervert." He huffs quietly, there's no heat to his words. "And I so to have watched it. Watch." He pulls Lance closer with a hand at the back of his neck. Lance's cheeks dusted a nice pink at his own suggestion, darkening even more but never letting his infuriating smirk drop as Keith whispers against his lips. "Mine,"_

//

"Absolutely not." Keith shakes his head. They find the intergalactic space hub without the use of Sendak's pulled-from-by-force memories. "There's nothing really there." He pauses. There was. That entire room filled with harvested and refined quintessence _could_ come in handy. He doesn't use his magic as much as he would have before but it couldn't hurt to build up their own supply. _Especially_ if any of them get hurt. 

Pidge goes on and on about the opportunity while Shiro agrees. Hunk voices his worry while Lance backs up Pidge. It was obvious he just wanted to be _against_ what Keith suggested. In the end Keith groans, rubs his face, and secede his position.

"Alright, alright, _fine_." He brings his hands up in surrender, except. "But you can't go." He points directly at Allura.

"Excuse me?" Keith backtracks, gritting his teeth. "I do not need your permission. I'm a part of this fight against Zarkon as much as anyone. I'm going. Do you have a problem with that?" Her voice is challenging but he feels Coran's nervous energy from across the room. 

"Allura--" He starts. How was he supposed to say, 'well, the reason you and Shiro can't go was because your part of the mission is a bust and you get taken to Zarkon which ends in a corrupted worm hole and everyone gets separated and I land on a Galra-influenced heavy planet and almost die'? Allura senses his hesitation, like she has noticed it during other information input. He knows _she knows_ that he knows something. "Don't use Shiro's Galra arm to open channels or gather intel on the computer." 

They all look at him, judging and scrutinizing. That was the reason the first time, right? If Keith remembered correctly. He and Allura exchange stares, the air between them wasn't there with tension. They didn't communicate, either. In that moment, they simply were. She must've noticed the staring was becoming awkward among them.

"Alright."

//

Keith watches Allura don on the Galra armor, her skin the same color as his. His ears are pressed together uncomfortably on the inside of his helmet and he wants to take off his armor, buy some robes that covered his body. He sees the crate with raw quintessence being hauled to its next destination.

"I'm going to check it out." He was ready this time. He had brought a bag to store the quintessence. He ignores Lance as he tries to get him to stay.

_"I think I told him."_

_"You are a paragon of leadership, Lance."_

Keith purses his lips to not laugh as his ears caught them before the door shut.

//

Focus. _Focus._

_Patience yields focus._

Yes, Shiro, Keith knew that. Breathe in, hold, exhale. _Now_. He rolls through the small opening before they shut behind the druid. The energy in here was _alive_. It bounced against his very cells. He doesn't follow the druid to the refinery space. Instead, he follows the breadcrumbs of the refined quintessence to a special room tucked away to the bottom right of the ship. 

Breathe. 

It seems most of his focus was on breathing, lately. Keith carefully places vial after vial into his sack. 

_"It's sensitive! You can't just throw it Lance!"_

_"But I've seen these babies just get thrown against a brick wall and_ not break. _What do you mean they're sensitive? They can probably withstand a nuclear bomb."_

_"It's the_ energy _that's sensitive, you dingus." Lance scoffs at the name, pouting. Keith sighs and kisses his cheek. "I feel it whenever it moves. When I say it's sensitive I mean_ I'm _sensitive to it and whatever happens to it.. Just.. treat it gently, okay?" Keith presses the next container into his hands, letting his fingertips brush over Lance's hand to feel the warmth of his skin even for a fleeting moment._

_Lance smiles, his fingertips purposefully brushing against his hand as he then places it_ deliberately and very gently _into the satchel._

_"Like how you're sensitive to my touch?"_

//

Hovering like before is a challenge. The containers' chill seeps into his back. He doesn't use his amours hover pack, it causes too much disturbance. Keith touches the ground and takes another breath.

Halfway back.

_"Keith? What’s your position?"_ His coms flicker to life. He feels a shift in energy. _Shit._

"I might need an extraction. Keep you posted." He takes a breath and feels the tips of his toes skid against the floor as he propels his body forward. 

_Almost, almost.._

Keith grunts as he pushes back to miss the lightening to his left. He hisses as he comes face to face with the druid. 

"Allura and Shiro are--"

"I need an extraction now!" Keith grunts, throwing up a wall of force to stop the next strike. He tries not to move in excess while making his way to the refinery spot. When he is thrown against the giant container, he cradles the bag of refined vials to his chest and heaves a breath at his quick save. His head swan and he felt nauseous. 

When he looks up, the druid is there with a clothed arm raised.

They hesitate.

When Green smashes her mouth through the ceiling Keith looks away from the falling debris, when he looks up the druid is gone. He doesn't wait to find him and propels himself into Green's waiting mouth as fast as he could. His back is throbbing and sore, but at least the vials aren't shaking as badly as his hands are.

Their energy is contained behind thick three inch plates of the strongest transparent material. It's unstable energy. It takes a lot for him to calm it down to a dull roar as he sits and does not move from his position in Green's hallway until they reach the castle.

//

There was a collective sigh of relief as they wormhole jump from their position to a safer place. 

They have yet to be separated. They have yet to have their first kill. Keith included. They were maybe, maybe, two galaxies away from the ship that held Matt. 

Keith figured out the biggest downfall to knowing things about the future was that, the more you change what you did the second time, the more unknown the future became. In the first time line, Keith starts to call it S-0 (the S stood for shift. Shift in time, he reasoned), they had not found Matt until a year and a half since they began their adventure. A half a year after the wormhole incident. Three months before he was left to be taken by the enemy. 

Breathe in. 

_One, two, three, four, five._

Breathe out. 

_Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two one.._

Now they weren't even close to a one year anniversary and they were _so close_ to finding him. Pidge is working themselves to the bone. Day in and day out. Keith reminds them to rest, to sleep, when he should be doing the same. He still can't sleep alone but Lance seems adamant about needing _privacy_ and apparently, a roommate who doesn't hog all the blankets.

So Keith lets him have his _privacy_ and his _blankets all to himself_ while he stays up night after night in the comfort of Red's bunker and a jar of energy to tinker with.

Quintessence can't take the place of actual rest and nutrition, not to the extent that Keith had first thought when he started learning in S-0. Quintessence and his body are completely different. He could be drained of quintessence and eat a feast for twenty men, and still feel on the verge of death. All the same, when he hasn't slept or eaten in days because he couldn't find the time to remember when he did so last, an abundance of quintessence transferal does not quell his growling tummy or help to warm his stiff hands. 

It does, however, allow him to realize the connections he thought were invisible before. He can't _see_ them, these things weren't tangible. But he could _feel_. Like in Chinese superstition, there was that red string attaching two beloveds. He still couldn't read the reactions everyone gave, though. Keith will take what he can get. In Red's bunker, lights dimmed to a comforting glow, he closes his eyes and lets the strings tug at indeterminate points of his body.

It reminded him of a plasma globe. 

His body was the globe, conducting the currents. The others unknowingly reach out their connections to him, creating more points of contact than before.

Sometimes it brings comfort. It makes it seem like he wasn't alone.

_"I will_ always _be here for you, Keith. Don't you ever forget that." Lance's hands thread with his own. His palms are fire and bring more heat than the desert sun of the planet they're on. "Okay?"_

_Keith looks up at the same time Lance looks down at him. Vaguely, Keith thinks his height compared to Lance's is the perfect forehead-kiss height, despite his previous disapproval that he would no longer grow taller. The way Lance said it he thinks it's a reference. And as he lets the silence stretch out he realizes it is. He knows what it is too. He'd never read the book or watched the movie, but he knows what it is._

Keith feels his eyes water and he sucks in a shaky breath as he opens them, dulls the electric currents touching his skin.

"Okay.."

//

Keith should've known his luck would have run out eventually. In S-0 he had plenty of luck. He found Blue, he rescued Shiro. He _punched Sendak with his foot._ Had that nice bonding moment with Lance. Survived going head-to-head with Zarkon. 

Lance loved him. He considered that luck too. 

He wonders if his luck ran out at the final battle, which made him wake up in S-1. But then he got the team together, got all the lions, found Shiro. They beat Sendak and saved the Balmera. They acquired intel, Allura never got captured and they never got separated. 

Keith thinks his luck ran out sometime between the last planet and their current mission. 

Mission to get Matt back. 

Keith really, _really_ , should have thought this through. Should really have read all the energies and deciphered them like _mother_ taught instead of ghosting over them and reliving dates that _didn't happen._ They did. But did they? Maybe he was just really good at predicting the future. 

Back to the present. He _really_ should have known his luck was gone the moment he pushed Matt and Pidge into Green's waiting mouth as he took the brunt of the explosion of magic. His muscles spasmed, it hurt to breath.

"Keith!" Pidge's voice rang over the intercom. Keith forced himself onto his feet, wobbly and unsteady as it was.

"Get out of here!" He cries as he puts his own magic to block the druid's attack. He couldn't get back to Red unless Green left. He couldn't protect himself _and_ them against the robed figure. Pidge made a short uproar before shutting up and leaving. They weren't any good to Keith when they didn't even know how to fight druids. 

Keith felt as if every single one of his cells were expanding and exploding. He wasn't here anymore, he was in the conventional sense, but _he wasn't there anymore._ Keith was on another plane, where he could see the connections in a plethora of vibrant, _shifting_ , colors that no human could ever see. 

There was no druid anymore, Keith didn't care about where they went as his body practically flies back to Red. He feels her alarm, at his state. He doesn't feel like anything could touch his body if he tried. Anything in his way was pushed away. 

_"The universe doesn't care if you mess up."_

_"What?"_

_"The universe. It doesn't care." Lance repeats, like that alone would answer Keith's question about what in the_ world _he meant. "Ya know, sometimes I feel like I'm inadequate?" He sighs. "I know, I know. Me, the perfect being of all things perfect, feeling inadequate?" He rolls his eyes but Keith stays quiet, opting to move closer to him to provide what little warmth his body had as comfort to him._

_They lay on a hillside of Vrrlinm. At one point Keith would have felt yearning at being on a planet Lance had freed on his quest to get Keith back. He still does, but he has Lance next to him now._

_"But it's true." Lance pulls him closer, Keith watches Lance as he tries to map out the stars of this strange galaxy. The stars were bright and plentiful above them. "When I get overwhelmed. When I mess up small things... When I used to be compared to you back at the academy, how I could never_ ever _reach your level even though I tried so hard." Keith feels his heart lurch, sitting up to look at Lance and tell him they were_ equals _, always have been always will be, stupid, idiotic, school judgment system be damned, when Lance puts a finger to his lips._

_Lance grins knowingly. He always did know what Keith was thinking and what he wanted to say. Nowadays, Lance spoke for him in conversation when he felt Keith stiffen at questions he didn't want to answer._

_"But, the universe doesn't care, Keith. The universe, the biggest thing we have,_ doesn't care _about the failures. It doesn't care that I flunked that one math quiz, or that I embarrassed myself like a gajillion times trying to flirt with someone out of league." A pause. "Doesn't that make it just a little bit better?"_

_Keith purses his lips, brows furrow, he doesn't get what Lance is talking about. Lance sits up and leans back on his arms._

_"Look, you mess up, you mess up right? You might care you mess up, others might care. But the universe doesn't care if you screw up." Lance scratches right behind the base of his right ear. "Doesn't it feel good to know the universe accepts you regardless?"_

Keith rides Red away from the ship when he feels the rise in pressure from quintessence build up. Allura has a wormhole open, everyone is flying through it. He can't stop an attack that big but he can try. 

Keith propels Red forward, giving a battle cry as he tries to lessen the damage. The back of his head is met with a blow as he sees the edges of the wormhole twitch with pink light. He hopes whatever he did helped the others enough as his lion is thrown to the side and away from the rest.

//

The feeling of _deja vu_ was getting old was his first sentient thought. The sledgehammer whacking away on his head, the taste of iron on his tongue. His chest was heavy. 

Red?

No response. Offline. His helmet is digging hard into the side of his skull. Keith dragged his useless arms up on whatever ground he was laying to push the confining contraption off. With great protest from his body, he lifts his upper body up on shaky arms and looks around. 

Dense foliage was the only view from the cockpit.

//

This is war. 

Keith knows this.

Keith stares at the soldier at his feet, gurgling a curse, or a plea. His activated bayard hangs limply at his side, dripping blood. Keith may be wrong, but maybe the Galra is dying slower this time? Maybe he hit him in different places? No, he didn't but... Now that he feels his life slowly trickling out of his flesh vessel, he is probably witnessing the complete end of a person. 

The soldier's eyes dim, but his heart beats for a few ticks longer. Keith drops his weapon and kneels down by the body. This wasn't the first time he was witness to such an event but his body didn't really realize that. The blood sinks into his paladin underskins, feels it dry in his hair. 

Keith's breathing shallows out, body starts to tremble. Keith presses his shaking hands to the body, feeling the pulse of _being_ and breathes deep.

_The soldier's name was Mammon. He was a newly graduated cadet, stationed at this base to train under a Yrmir._

_Mammon was only three stellar cycles old._

_"Mammon, Mammon!" The child Galra runs to him, who was now wearing his first uniform proudly. Mammon lifts the child up into the air then sets them down. Galra don't hug. He does, however, lean down to touch his forehead to the child's, ears perked forward. The child mimics him, the tips of their Galra ears barely brushing but he feels an extreme sense of intimacy run through his body at the gesture. People only do that when they've forged life withstanding connections._

_"Procell," the soldier says as he straightens his back._

_Keith listens to them speak, their dreams and aspirations. Their hopes and fears, their insecurities about Mammon leaving them._

_"Don't worry. Where I'm stationed they don't have wars. It's information only."_

_Keith doesn't know how he can understand. He shouldn't._ He doesn't want to hear it. 

_"I'll be back in a few weeks’ time."_

Stop it.

_"Procell." Mammon smiles at the child and leans to put their foreheads together again. "Don't give your mother too much trouble when I'm gone, little kit."_

Keith wretches himself from the body, arms stained up to his elbows as he hobbles to the side. He grabs at the branches closest to him to hold onto. He coughs and coughs, wretches out bile and what little food he had managed to eat. Blood mixes into the mess on the jungle floor and distantly he realizes he had reopened the cut on his lip.

//

_"Hybrid..?"_

_Mammon stares at Keith for long moments before either of them move. He makes a move to grab his communicator, to tell the higher chain of command. Keith doesn't know why he didn't use his magic to subdue the soldier. To smush him down with an invisible force and render him helpless. He won’t be able to reach for his gun, then. He wouldn't call anyone._

_Keith doesn't know why he raises his sword first when Mammon reaches for the gun on his hip. Doesn't know why he brings it down without mercy, once, twice, thrice, until the panic in his veins is numbed by the blood soaking his armor._

_Idly, he blames it on muscle memory. In S-0 he didn't have magic to wield. He also didn't know he was a successful hybrid._

_Keith didn't need to know Mammon, didn't need to know his name, his kit's name.  Didn't need to know he was only_ twenty three _years old._

//

Keith's mouth burns as he washes it out with stream water. The temperature is just as cold as last time, and he feels his body tremble and his fingers and toes go numb. He scrubs at his skin, darker purple now that it was stained. Stained in thick bands of splatters and splotches.  Keith pulls his hair as he removes clotted clumps of blood. It hurts more than before and Keith vaguely thinks he has a head injury he keeps touching. It stings. He doesn't stop shredding the blood with his claws.

His name was _Mammon._

_Mammon_ was a father of one. _Mammon_ was going home next week to see his family. _Mammon_ didn't have to die.

Keith wished he never had to know _Mammon._

His stomach is churning but he had nothing left in it. His claws left cuts along his skin and scalp that stung with the cold water. The panic is festering just under his skin and his throat is raw. He _wants_ to scream. He wants to relive the first time, in S-0. He would rather feel the reality of wars than feel _this_. He doesn't want to know _Mammon_.

Mammon, Mammon, _Mammon._

//

"Keith, are you okay? You haven't said a word since we got you back." Shiro addresses him with the same worry of an old friend, despite his Galra appearance. Since he got back Keith had abandoned his paladin clothes. Even though they look like new, even though they _are_ new, Keith can't handle touching them without the thought of _Mammon_ being pushed to the forefront of his mind.

_You fight like a Galra._ Zarkon had told him in S-0. _You fight like a monster._ Is what Keith hears now.

Keith nods and pulls the robes closer to his body, too loose on his thinning frame. He doesn't want to talk, just in case he cracks. In case he talks about _Mammon_.

The enemy. He was supposed to be the enemy. But day by day Keith feels his loss like he does a friend. Because _Mammon_ is no longer a faceless, young Galra soldier. Now, _Mammon_ was someone he knew since they were kits.

//

Lance is by Shiro's side, brows furrowed in worry. He exchanges a look with their leader as Keith hugs his arms as close to himself as possible. Scrunches his body together as he sits on a thick ledge by a thicker pane of glass. Lance doesn't know why he feels himself fretting about Keith. His teammate knows how to take care of himself... or so he thought.

The change between the Keith, anxious and on edge, that first dragged them on this mission to defend the universe compared to the Keith now, a Galra-Altean hybrid, quiet, recluse, and the one with the most experience despite his age, was like looking at two different people.

Despite how he practically kicked Keith out of his room because he needed 'space'... he misses the clump of a cold body next to him. He missed it more after he tried to get with a random alien babe, too. On that one off chance he actually got some, his skin felt itchy and he couldn't scrub it hard enough when he showered. After checking himself in the healing pod, he chalks up his experience to guilt. Because he _was_ supposed to be looking for Keith and there he was, bedding someone he met at a space pub.

Lance only wanted someone because he missed someone occupying the space next to him when he slept. He didn't realize that person _had_ to be Keith. The person he got together with was too hot, no pun intended. Her skin was warm against his and it heated up to near uncomfortable temperatures. Afterward, he couldn't sleep with her warmth so imposing against his own. It was too hot under the covers, too suffocating.

Then they found Keith and he hadn't spoken so much as a word since then.

At least, not to him. Or Shiro, the other Paladins. Allura or Coran. It was worrying when the Garrison golden child who was so haute to begin with was now a metaphorical mute.

"If you're sure... If you ever want to talk about it, we're here for you." Shiro finishes uncertainly. Keith manages a nod but he keeps his gaze determinedly out the window. Shiro looks to Lance, skepticism at leaving it at that clear on his face. Lance feels the sentiment.

"Hey guys, hey Keith." Matt greets as he passes by. He pauses when he reads the tension, looking from a despondent Shiro, to Lance, then to Keith. Matt raises a brow at Shiro, and he glances away. Matt sighs at their hesitance and pushes his way past the two paladins and plops right on the edge of the ledge.

Keith turns to look at him, brows furrowed. Matt only gives him a goofy grin and presses against him, arm resting over his shoulder.  Matt doesn't do anything besides hold him in an awkward half hug, but Lance could see the difference in Keith seconds later. Shiro is blushing and he looks away, apparently he couldn't handle a public hug.

Keith stares out the window for a few ticks. His breathing hitches, and Lance could _swear_ he sees his eyes gloss over. In the next tick he breathes in deep and huffs it out in a sigh. Keith moves his body to face Matt, shoving his face comfortably in the crook of his neck.

Matt looks up at the voyeurs and grins triumphantly as he hugs Keith closer. Lance blushes at the scene, feeling jealousy build up in his veins which, okay, he really shouldn't. It's not like they're _dating_ and it's not like this was anything special. Keith had stuck to him first... Didn't he say about not being able to sleep alone?

Quiznak.

Keith accepts the offer of closeness of another body in mere moments, latching onto the heat it provides. It's not the same as Lance's. But its comfort he hasn't had in what feels like ages. Matt who accepted his Galra form instantly after being reminded who he was. Who didn't flinch from his smiles or hesitate at his claws despite all he's gone through with Galra.

//

Matt doesn't force him to talk about what happened. About why after their time together on the sill how he silently clings to his arm. He hesitates at first; he's never had this type of relationship with Matt. Matt, however, notices how he pauses, and instead of giving a brow and waiting, taunting, he opens his arms for a hug. Keith leans in easily.

Matt is closer to him in height, just an inch or two taller. Lance is now half a head taller. Pidge is almost his height.

Keith is grateful for how insightful Matt is. How he is allowed his space when he wants and is patient when Keith clings like a child. Even when this clinging turns into Keith crawling into his bed at ungodly hours of the night. Doesn't fight or say anything against being dragged into Red's bunker when Keith feels a panic welling inside him. When he needs both the comfort of Red's purrs surrounding him completely _and_ the feeling of another body against his. Grounding him to S-1.

Even better, Matt says one day as he grins. A common room is repurposed for his idea. The couch cushions are turned into bedding on the circle where the table should be. The couch itself is turned into a makeshift table. Matt steals the blankets and pillows from everyone's rooms (including Allura's. She screamed and everyone heard it. Matt, the culprit, whistled as he walked down the hall) and made a nesting ground.

Matt even made failed jurjur. Keith smiles at the attempt. Half past the typical time the paladins were supposed to go to sleep, a mob of sleep deprived castle occupants came storming in. They all glared daggers at Matt. It was obvious Keith had no idea what happened. Matt grins nervously and claps his hand.

"Sleepover party!" He announces. Pidge raised a slender brow before they grin wide and jump into the nest they created for themselves. Allura's eyes widen and she follows after Pidge, wanting to know earth customs of 'sleepovers' and wondering why they were called 'sleepovers' when you _can't sleep at sleepovers_ (Pidge expresses very adamantly)?

Keith thinks he should have been uncomfortable under all the attention. Matt is on his right while Pidge snuggles close on his left. They fight over stupid things and jostle Keith around. He was comfortable. He was halfway to sleep when Matt starts teasing Lance about something. He hears his signature sputters, jumbled words he couldn't recognize in his state.  He could almost see Lance's blushing face.

Then the heat on either side of him left and he cracks his eyes open as Pidge and Matt shift around him. Then there was _heat_ at his back and singing arms wrapping around his waist. Long legs rest on either side of his own, sending the trails of flames through his cold body.

It sure has been a while since he felt this heat. Keith gives a pleasant purr and shifts to his side, wiggling _closer_. Matt is saying something and he hears the rumble of Lance's chest as he responds. But everything else is lost on him.

Did they ever fall asleep? Did Allura even have Altean version of makeup and nail polish?

//

Surprisingly, Lance seeks him out the next night. His body was stiff and awkward but he mumbles something under his breath about wanting their own sleepover and Keith accepts. He would never be able to say no to Lance, anyway. Not in S-0, and not in S-1.

Keith feels refreshed as he steps out of the hot bath and slides on his clothes. Lance is already waiting on the bed as he comes out. He was still stiff and his pose was _so_ weird. Keith burst out laughing, clutching onto door way.

"Lance, oh my god.."

"W-what?!" _Even his voice_ , Christ. It was pitched high. Keith covers his mouth as his grin turns toothy, he tries to contain his glee.

"You--" He pauses, huffing out breathy sighs as his shoulders shook with laughter. He takes a breath and saunters over, slipping into the bed beside him with ease. Lance's cheeks flush darker and Keith feels his body tense. "Don't be so tense. You invited me here, didn't you?" Keith couldn't keep the teasing out of his voice if he tried.

Lance's whole body jerks and his blush extends to the tips of his ears. Keith hadn't realized what his own teasing words meant until modest ticks later. Hadn't even thought of the possibility Lance would want him the same way again. His breath hitched and his eyes stare at Lance, faltering in his movements to lie down next to him. He's speechless. Or maybe he just wants to save face.

Keith licks at his lips, feels the cut on his bottom lip from the day before. He lies on his side, watching as Lance lies on his back, hands folded stiffly on his stomach. They lay a few inches apart. Keith raises his hand and walks his taloned fingers across the space between them. The same fingers hesitate before they start to walk up Lance's forearm.

Lance follows the movement as his hand is laid on top of his crossed ones. Keith is already looking up at him when Lance finally, _finally_ , looks at him. Lance is hesitant, even as Keith shimmies his body closer. He moves deliberately slow as he lifts himself up on his forearm.

Does he even want this? Maybe he was just joking..

Keith hesitates to close the last inches between them. Thinking better of it, he starts to pull away. 

//

Shit, shit, shit, shit fuck him. Call him Woody the Woodpecker because Lance's heart is literally grinding against the inside of his chest. An echo of _oh he fucked up he fucked up_ sending an S.O.S. to his brain as Keith is mere breaths away-- then he pulls back, rejection evident on his face.

"Keith--"

Lance breathes out his name, threading his hand with the one Keith still hand on his hand and he squeezes.

_He wants this._

And really, there wasn't any shame to this. He could be jealous that Matt gets all Keith's cuddles all he wants but he didn't have to be if he just got his shit together and sought Keith out. He realizes in this moment that maybe Keith didn't seek him out like he did with Matt was because of the second time he got booted from his room as a cuddle buddy.

Grade A Asshole, at your service.  God, he might be smart, but sometimes he really is stupid, isn't he? Keith had always sent him glances that he felt tingle the back of his neck. Lance always thought they were just to scope out the competition. Jeez, he's really stupid. Keith never even cared about this invisible rivalry, did he? Now all the 'nice flying' and 'nice job, Lance' sound more like compliments of someone who wishes to be noticed, the way his voice softened and his body turned completely towards his, eagerly waiting Lance's response.

Lance's free hand is up and against Keith's cheek. They brush over the marks-- now jagged and sharp, following the slope of his hallow cheeks like contour-- and curl around his ears, gripping onto the damp hair. Keith's breath hitches at the touch of his marks. Come to think of it, no one else touched them.

Feeling bold, Keith leans down to press their lips together. Feeling bolder, Lance moves them. Keith is under him without any resistance. Lance's body presses his into the mattress and Lance has a front row seat to seeing Keith suck in a short breath, only to let it out in a breathy sigh, Keith squeezes their still linked hands.

Lance waits a tick before leaning down to kiss him again. And again. Lance thinks he imagines Keith's legs moving to the sides just _so_ , Lance's hips finding a home between them. When he feels Keith's foot hook around his calf and slide up, he knows it wasn't his imagination.

Keith's free hand is rubbing at his shoulder, up his neck. It rubs down his back and back to his shoulder, feeling up his biceps. Lance wants to return the same favor of sensations, but he doesn't want to let go of the chilled hand. Instead he laps at the lower lip of his so-called rival and revels in the gasps, taking advantage to slip his tongue in. He runs them over the sharp teeth and shudders at the sensation. Keith doesn't make a move to pierce his tongue with those needles of his, carefully kissing back.

Lance pulls back to breath, look at how wrecked Keith was. His golden eyes shone in the dark of his room, expressive despite the lack of pupils. Lance couldn't believe he could read the obvious _want_ for _him_ in those hooded eyes. It was even more obvious when he calls his name.

_"Lance."_

Lance shudders as pleasure tingles the base of his neck, feeling it curl his toes. He watches Keith lick his lips, eyes following his Adams apples he swallows. His body felt over heated, only to be cooled when Keith's hand slides up his arm. It felt nice, _comfortable_.

Reluctantly, he lets go of Keith's hand and he holds himself up on his arms as Keith places his hands just under his collar bone. Blinks deliberately slow as he feels his heart beating against his palm. Slower than Lance would like, they travel down his chest, over his stomach, and linger just under the hem of his shirt as if waiting for a sign. Lance rolls his hips down against him, his growing need should give him the answer he's looking for.

Keith gasps, the foot hooked around his calf twitches. Lance sucks in a breath as chilled and slender fingers ghost over his bare skin. There are a few more fleeting instances of hesitance until Lance's shirt finds its way to the floor. Next clothing to join is Keith's shirt, followed by Lance's bottoms, then Keith's, until both are exposed, save for the blanket that protected them from prying eyes (should someone come in).

Lance focuses on the feeling of Keith's skin against his. How cold it was at first, and how pleasantly warm it was now. How it doesn't become unbearable to feel the heat of another next to him. It wasn't typically his style to take things so slow, to build up the suspense and pressure gradually. Better to go big or go home, right?

But it didn't seem right to do with Keith. He _wants_ to drag it out. To feel the gradual increase in his body heat because of him, hear his soft breathy moans as he kisses down his chest, hands rubbing circles on the inside of his hips that make Keith squirm and arch his back off the bed in a gorgeous arch.

It'll become an opportunity for Lance to slide his arm underneath him, bringing their bodies together. Keith's nails scrape against his back and the slight sting of pain feels _incredible_.

" _God_ , Keith. You drive me wild.." He murmurs, nipping at his ear. It flicks with every puff of breath.

Keith is gorgeous with his hair fanning around his head on the pillow, Lance decides. "Beautiful," he whispers praises and listens to Keith's cries get _louder_.

//

Lance's arm lazily lays across his body while he is nestled and hidden half under Lance's body.

_Warm._

So warm. Keith sighs, kissing Lance's chest. He was still asleep.  Keith enjoys the closeness while he can. Replays the night before since he woke up. He dares not move, despite his arm cramping from lying in the same position for hours. But he _dares_ not.

When Lance starts to move, he holds his breath. Lance stretches out his long body with a deep inhale of breath. When he exhales, his arm goes back to being comfortably draped over Keith. With bated breath, Keith watches as Lance screws up his face and rubs his eye. He opens them sleepily.

Keith practically melts when Lance greets him with a smile.

"Good morning, beautiful." He leans forward, kissing him lovingly. Keith presses back against him. Loving the way Lance's heat envelopes him without asking.

"Good morning everyone!" Matt bursts through the door, Hunk is grinning behind him. 

Lance jerks, but not away. Instead,  he pulls Keith closer as if to protect his modesty, all the while his face goes red and he pulls up the blankets further up his lean body.

"Can you be any more obnoxious?"

"Can't you-- oh my god, Hunk!" Matt practically _screams_ as Keith pokes his head up just a bit and his big Galra ears give him away.

"What, what? What--- oh snickerdoodles. _Dude_." Lance groans at their reactions, was it bad Keith liked it because his sun-kissed skin darkened with a blush from the tips of his ears down his chest?

" _God damn it_ , can't you leave us alone? I was _trying_ for a _romantic morning_ until _somebody_ ruined in!" Lance grabs an extra pillow and throws it at the rapidly closing door while laughter tinkers away down the hall.

//

Keith wasn't a stranger to blood. He was, however, new to this pain. It spread from his shoulder and down his right arm. Like it was being pulled off. Keith tries to scream, agony spreading quick. He coughs out blood instead, turning his head right to let it puddle and seep into his hair.

What met his eyes was a wall of Banma technology. It was crushing his arm from the socket all the way down to his fingers. This time when he tried, he screamed until his throat was raw. His body was immensely sore. Besides the crushing bones to his right, he feels his left ankle pull uncomfortably. There was the sensation of liquid on his thigh and he finally feels the open wound in the middle, stretching down over the side of his knee.

Keith hears a sinister laugh somewhere in the room, echoing, suffocating him. He stifled a cry at trying to move the heavy block from with magic. It only pulled the joint of his socket _further_ before he stops.

"My, my... What an.. interesting development." Haggar. Keith sucks in a deep breath and grits his teeth.

//

_"Have you ever been on a merry-go-round?"_

_"A what?"_

_"Merry-go-round. It's like that thing on kid's playground that sticks out from the ground and it has things to hold onto and you just kinda spin around and around?" Keith raises a brow, then shakes his head. "You know, they say that if you spin really fast and tilt your head back, you'll feel like your high."_

_"Is that right?" Lance nods, then looks away, unusually shy._

_"I.. You make me feel that way." He confesses. Keith looks halfway between stupefied and offended._

_"Is that supposed to be a compliment?" Lance looks more embarrassed, rubbing the back of his neck. Lance looks at Keith like he had all the love in the world to give him._

_"I_ meant _that I feel good whenever I'm with you." Lance traces his marks with gentle but calloused fingertips. Keith sucks in a breath, he felt like he was floating. "Like I can take on the world and nothing can stop me."_

//

Lance worries his bottom lip and picks at his nails, sitting cross legged across Keith's healing pod. It's the third day and he still looks a step away from death. Lance eyes the arm at his right and guilt gnaws on his conscious.  Keith's right arm is mangled under the thick caste.

Keith should have died, that's what Coran told them. Keith had lost too much blood to survive. The pain itself should have pushed him over the edge. But somehow, he is... '"fine." When Lance found him, he'd called the others in hysterics. When they managed to lift the metal from his arm, Keith was unresponsive. Lance nearly threw up at seeing the state of his arm. What was worse, they couldn't move him until they got a split under the shattered limb.

But now Keith is in the pod, cleaned up and casted and free floating. Lance will consider it a miracle and thank god when Keith wakes up.

Please, _please,_ wake up.

//

Lance is there and waiting impatiently as the timer runs out. Keith is not awake as his body lurches forward, falling limply into Lance's waiting arms.

"Keith?" Lance asks hesitantly, his voice kept to a whisper. He jostles Keith just a half inch, the face in his neck only rolls the minuscule amount at being shook. Lance's brows furrow in confusion and then worry when he doesn't feel the puff of breath on his skin. "Keith!"

//

_Lance was acting weird. Well.._ weirder _. He was squirrelly and jumpy, looking up and away any time Keith came by to see him out of the blue. And_ every _time Lance was just enough of a smooth talker after his bumbling to lead Keith away with a charming grin. And_ every _time Keith is left alone, he suddenly remembers he had to ask Lance! Sneaky little... Keith huffs and tells himself he would confront Lance tomorrow._

_Only, Keith is swept off his feet. Quite literally. He was walking down the bazar when Lance comes up from his left and_ scoops _him up into his arms bridal style._

_"_ There's _my sugar muffin!" Lance's voice is loud and it was obvious he was doing it to catch the attention of any nearby aliens. Keith is thoroughly embarrassed while Lance soaks up the attention he gets giving_ him _attention. Keith isn't sure whether Lance likes it because he just loves to show Keith off, or because he just enjoys showing how sickeningly_ in love _he is._

_Both are good, he supposes, and maybe, just_ maybe _, he does like the possibility of jealous suitors after Lance's hand and how_ he _of all people had all of his attention._

_It felt good, he decides, it feels_ right _._

_Lance spins him around and dips him with ease. Keith needs to grit his teeth and purse his lips to stop the splitting smile despite his utter mortification._

_"I swear Lance, if you don't put me down_ this instant _\--" Lance rights them and his feet are set on the ground. Keith huffs more for good measure, raising his hand to smack him. Lance only moves, tilting his head to the side while he gives him_ the smolder _, his lips quirking into his best flirtatious smile. Despite its ridiculousness and how_ terrible _it worked on other people, they made Keith_ weak. _Keith settles on glaring at him._

_"Awe, babe." Lance is holding both his hands, kissing at his knuckles and damn him if his chagrin doesn't simmers down quickly. Keith purses his lips, trying to stop his smile, onlookers forgotten. "Don't be mad." Keith shakes his head and rolls his eyes as Lance continues to place random kisses along the back of his hands._

//

_Lance is dragging him up the hill. The night is chilly, but Lance has come prepared, apparently. On the top of the hill there was a blanket set down to pad their seating. A few more folded neatly at the side, along with a couple of pillows. Next to it is a container._

_"Lance.. A picnic?"_

_Lance glances back and nods as he reaches the spread out blanket. Keith sits down on the edge of it as Lance kneels on the grassy area by the edge of the cliff side. His hands slide up his shins, bunching up the ankle length skirt he wore. Keith is blushing before he knows it, letting Lance slide them up past his knees. With nimble fingers Lance undoes the lace of his boots, loosening the laces before sliding off his shoe. He holds his foot, kissing the top of his ankle and sets it on the blanket before moving onto the next shoe._

_Keith scoots back onto the blanket once he was shoeless. Lance joins him seconds later, taking a quarter of the time to pull his own off and sit next to Keith, his long legs stretching out._

_Keith is resting comfortably against his side, eating some sweet pudding dessert native to the plains of the planet that Lance feeds him. Listening to his voice, a low tenor, accompanied by the rumble of his chest when his back is pressed against it. They've been at the hill top for at least an hour, basking in the starlight and each other's company. Lance slouches forward as Keith leans back against him, comfortably nestled between his legs and circled by his arms. Lance's hands fiddle and play with his fingers, rubbing along the mauve skin and massaging his muscles._

_"Hey, Keith?"_

_Keith hums, lulled nearly to sleep._

_"I know we're in the middle of a galactic war and all that.. And we don't have much free time.. And I'm sorry that it couldn't have been a grander way to do this but.." Keith opens his eyes and glances back at Lance, eye brow raised at his string of words. His gaze returns to his hand when he feels something slide onto his finger._

_Keith's eyes widen, watching Lance fiddle with the ring around his finger. Keith calls it a ring, but really, it wasn't anything grand. It wasn't gold or silver or anything to symbolize anything. It_ looked _like a ring of a coiled metal, the same one you would use to hang key ornaments onto? Woven between the edges was a deep purple thread. On top of that, was an adorable, blue button._

_"Lance..." Keith could barely let out a sound, an immense emotion swelling in his chest._

_"Keith." He murmurs against his ear, his hot breath is sending shivers down his body. Keith is staring at the childish engagement ring and feeling a bubble of laughter in his chest. "After this is all over.. will you marry me?"_

//

Keith coughs as he is ripped from unconsciousness.  He can't feel his arm.. His eyes widen and he sucks in a breath, sitting up fast. He chokes on the tube down his throat.

"Keith! Whoa, whoa, easy. I'll get it out." Lance's voice is there and suddenly the thing in his throat is being pulled out. Keith gags, but sucks in deep breaths thankfully. Keith furrows his brows, rubbing his throat. "... Are you okay?" Lance asks hesitantly. Keith looks up, eyes widening at the scars littering his face.

_"I wasn't about to ignore a chance to find you, even if it was a trap.." Lance confesses, closing his eyes as Keith's finger traces the scar tissue that went down his cheek. "A robobeast nicked me."_

"Lance--" His right hand reaches out to his face. He pauses when he feels nothing. No real heat soaking into him, no raised flesh. Not even feeling Lance's hand over his. Keith can feel his arm, it's there, he can move it but...

Lance places his other hand on his cheek, looking into his eyes. His serious eyes grounded Keith, kept him from teetering off the edge.

"You're here, Keith. You're safe now. I've got you." Lance envelopes him in a hug. Keith holds on tight, gripping his shirt hard and uncaring if his claws leave rips in the fabric. It doesn't look like Lance cares either. Keith couldn't feel the softness of the shirt like he could with his left hand. He can't feel the initial heat from Lance's body, though it slips into the dead nerves that leave a pleasant tingle layers under his skin.

Keith still feels the ghost of his old ring rub against his right ring finger.

//

Nothing was right. But when was it ever? Keith realizes he only thinks everything is wrong this time because it is S-1, because he has something to compare it to. But for the others, everything is normal..ish. It's normal for them, they get hurt, they heal, they go on. They don't know that Keith was supposed to spend months with Galra as their secret weapon to learn his magic.

They don't know that Shiro was supposed to be the catalyst that brings them together.

It was no longer S-0. There was nothing he recognized, no patterns that were the same. They did not visit Gdarzi until they had freed a star system to the left. By then everyone was settled.

Zarkon's forces in S-1 are more violent, too. It's not just his imagination. He sees the force they put into their swings when they come into close combat against him. No doubt Haggar had told them of the... "interesting development".  A Galra-Altean druid among the paladins.

Keith hardens his resolve. His attacks grew fiercer. He does not think as he cuts down a solider at an intelligence base. _Mammon_ is whispering in his ears about the shells he found with his kit and mate. He lets the quintessence he wields chill his skin and numb his mind. He refuses to feel. He lets everything become as numb as his defective arm. Keith's sword forms into a spear on one mission, a scepter the next.

Lance watches him with worried eyes. Pidge is careful around him.

Keith can do this.

The team in on their way to a planet that is ninety percent water and a prime spot for trade of magnetite. Keith's robes slide along the sand, his boots leaving imprints. His hood is up despite the glaring sun reflecting off the ocean. The dock is big with a manmade floating trading center and Keith makes his way to the very edge were a Tzakla is sitting on the edge. Keith vaguely thinks they look like selkies.

Their name is Tszana, he learns. Their body is thick to keep them warm in the freezing temperatures of the waters. The tail is made of thick leather with fine, dull furs. Their arms are bigger than his head, four claws and webbed, like a seals. An extra pad where the wrist is. Tszana turns their body at the waist, eyeing them with tar-black eyes and thick eye lashes. Keith stands a few feet away, kneeling down and tucking his feet underneath.

They gives a croon, it was deep in tone and imploring. Keith feels vibration pass through him.

"I need magnetite." He pulls the hood from his head, letting it pool around his shoulders. His Galra ears stood up at attention. Tszana narrows their large eyes. Keith had been told the people did not deal well with Galra. Slowly, very slowly, he reaches into the inside of his dark purple robes, similar to his S-0 druid robes save for the white thread accents and druid symbol on the hood, and pulls out a container of quintessence and sets it between them.

The light shines off other jewels and stone they had around their shop. They snatch the vial quickly and Keith flinches as he feels it slosh around in the glass. He takes a breath and sits still. They eye him judgingly for a few ticks. Then they dive into the water with the jar. Keith stays in the small space, looking at the stones and feeling the ridges of a stressed pink gem.

By the time they return, it has grown dark and cold. Keith shivers under his thick robes and he brings his knees to his chest. They do not come alone. There is a smaller Tzaklan next to them. Their skin was composed of entirely of dark green scales, three rows of sharp teeth and unblinking eyes.

"You." Tszana says, pushing their body up on the dock without as much as a shiver. Keith's ears flick to show he was listening. "Closer," They beckon and Keith hesitates to get closer to the water. It was dark and much deeper than Earth's oceans have ever been. The planet was as large as Jupiter and it fell just outside the goldilocks zone, leaving the planet terribly cold at night. Keith could even see a thin sheen of ice coating the top layers. If they dragged him down he would die a quick death.

Keith tries not to show his trepidation on his face as he shuffles forward. He was two feet from the edge, close enough for them and their friend to grab him and drag him down into the dark abyss.

"Why need magnetite?" They whisper, but their voice still travels far.

"I'm the Red Paladin of Voltron. My teammate is upgrading our ships."

"A Galra on Voltron?" Their friend speaks up, voice scratchy.

"I am a half-bred."

"A druid." Keith nods. "The light you give..."

"Yours. As a token of my gratitude and a possible alliance and trade."

//

Lance stares as Keith walks into the dining room. His hair is damp and his body still emitted heat from his hot bath. He didn't look any different but he _was_ and Lance needs to know why.

"Why don't you take a picture, it would last longer." Matt whispers from besides him, smug grin plastered on his face. Lance blushes but doesn't rise up to the taunts.

"Doesn't Keith look different?" He whispers back. It becomes a hushed talk between him, Matt, and Pidge as they all stare at Keith making a thick orange liquid to drink. Keith raises a brow as he turns around.

"...Yes?" His ears fold back and a light catches Lance's eye. When they move forward again, Lance realizes what he saw was rose quarts _embedded_ in the thin skin of his ear flap.

"Holy fuck you got your ears pierced?" Lance is out of his seat and to him in seconds. Keith furrows his brows and his ears droop.

"I did no such thing."

"No, no, look!" He gingerly picks at the top of his ear and looks in. There _was_ stone, but no closing hood on the other side. The gem was _a part_ of his skin, no grooves when Lance feels across it. "When the hell did you do this?"

Pidge is over and touching his ears and moving his hair, poking at it. Keith sighs but lets them quench their curiosity.

"It is not _pierced_ it is _woven_." He stressed. "It was a gift from the Qualao high priest."

"Oh, that bird-thing place?" Matt so eloquently asks. Keith resists the urge to rolls his eyes.

"Yes, those people."

"Didn't this hurt?" Keith thought on that. Initially, it had. His ear _were_ rather sensitive. But the priest had taken time to delicately thread spider web thin string through his ears with a just as tiny a needle. His ear felt heavier, but besides that he didn't feel bothered.  He shakes his head.

"Why does Keith get all the cool things?" Matt pouts. Lance nods in earnest.

"I want gifts too!"

"Do you think any of them would give their technology as gifts?"

"Are we talking about gifts from people we save? Because I'd love a set of new wrenches." Hunk is there before they realize. Keith smiles as they bicker about which present would be best.

"Actually.."

//

Allura was very much on board with the plan. They were excited for something new and something so different than they are used too. Coran, on the other hand, is only against the idea because he worries. Worries because things like _tattoos_ and _piercings_ were _not_ something royalty got.

But it had been decided and set. The native people had agreed eagerly, excitement clear as day on their faces. The ceremony was to be set in a private setting, with the Voltron team each receiving their gift and afterwards a party will he held. Each are given robes of different styles, the priest insisting that it fits them best.

Keith agreed.

Lance looks gorgeous with overlapping blues, whites, and accented yellows. His left shoulder is bare to reveal the topaz gems imbedded into his skin, the swirls of ink bright against his dark skin. It glows, sometimes. Keith wasn't sure, because he wasn't paying attention to all the explanations about the color and gem meanings and how they were made, but apparently it was made with bioluminescent ingredients. Lance's eyes were wide for the entire time the priest worked on his mark.

Allura is wearing pastels, pinks, lavender, some grey, complementing the color of her hair and bringing out the color of her radiating dark skin. Her dress is parted to the sides at her left hip, revealing a copious amount of skin that Coran had threw a fit over. The only reason she was allowed to wear it was because of the dark, short, undershorts that protected her from flashing the audience with the ceremonial _undergarments_. Which were, really, only a low slung bikini-thong with pearls at the sides. The pearls are still shown, the shorts low enough on her hips to let them hang out and shown through the slit of her dress.

On Allura's open thigh, covered just a tad by the shorts, were the gems. It was a series of smaller chips in a semi-symmetrical pattern of a diamond stretching from her hip to her knee. Between those tourmaline gems where painted symmetric lines in beautiful carnation pinks. It made her legs go for miles.

Hunk's ceremonial robes were made with bright yellows and dark cadmiums, strung together like a toga with sashes at his hips. A majority of his chest and back is exposed, chrysoberyls sown into the skin on his neck and shoulder like ribbons when they seem to dip under the colorful ink on his skin. His seemed more flowing than Allura's, reminiscent of a Polynesian tribal tattoo. When they catch under the light, they glimmer and shine like he was a god.

Pidge's gem was put in plain sight, under their right eye. It was a series of small dots of beryl from the inside of their eyes, underneath, getting slightly bigger as they curve to the temple. The priest made their marks with bright emerald greens and swirls down their cheek and fanning under their jaw and ear. The robes they were fitted to their body, but the short overcoat covered across their chest and slipped down their back, it flowed behind them on the ground as they walked.

Shiro's gems and marks were on his back. His marks were probably the easiest to understand what it was, smooth lines of a lion. Chrysoprase put over the black and grey tones in the lions eyes, accenting its ears and mane, creating movement around it in gentle waves. More gems sown into his shoulders and licking at his neck. The garments he wore leave his back entirely exposed, the front of his robes held up by being tied behind his neck.

Even Matt had joined the ceremony, his markings and embedded gem patterns mirrored Pidge's, labradorite mysteriously glimmering in a multitude of colors under the light.

Keith thought he would get purples and reds for his dress and gem, the usual Galra colors. He wasn't expecting the high priest to put him into an open-shoulder turquoise sari that wrapped around his curves and went down to the floor. The shawl was red and gold, matching the patterns at the fringes of the skirt. Rhodochrosite was woven into his right hand, traveling up his arm and across his wrist and forearm in an intricate pattern. Keith watches the priest meld his skin together with gems with incredible eye for detail. The end result was a mandala, Keith was sure. The changing colors of the gem both blended and stood out against his Galra tone. The marks were made with whites, baby blues, and poppy reds. Keith looks down at his arm, admiring the henna-like art done with such precision and love.

When they stand on the top of the stairs, Allura delivering her speech with the priest, Lance comes to his side and takes his left hand. He looks from the bottom of his sari, over the easy to see curves, follows the path of the shawl along his shoulders and down to his right arm without even trying to hide that he was looking. Lance grins, picking up the styled hand and looking at the final product.

"I knew this would look good on you."

//

It had been going okay, lately.  At least, that was what everyone besides Keith thought. They were kicking ass without much damage to themselves and the lions, Zarkon's forces, though a force to be reckoned with, usually stood no chance with Keith between them and Voltron.

This was what was making Keith anxious. How it was all seamless. How he could defeat the soldiers with ease, almost like the enemy is readying their fiercest worriers for the best opportunity. Keith feels it in the energy, trembling like an earth quake, it was coming. Sometimes when he looks forward, everything shimmers like a computer glitch. When he blinks, it goes away. The Galra should have already sent out the newest robobeast, a winged monster that does not breathe and can grip onto the very atoms of light to propel itself forward in zero gravity.

But they haven't and Keith is anxious to know why. Sure, S-0 is not S-1 anymore, too many things are different. However, that does not mean that the progress of the Galra would have been halted, right?

His gut was telling him something was up, and something was.

//

They don't know how it happened.

Well, Keith did. He means, he had a feeling _something_ would happen. This wasn't what he was expecting, either. They can't blame anyone, not when Allura was missing. Keith was having a hard time trying to form coherent thoughts. Before he thought S-0 was not S-1 but now there had been several instances where S-0 bled into S-1 but at different times and for different reasons. Like these things _had_ to happen. Lance getting the scar on his face, Matt losing a leg, Allura getting taken by Zarkon...

The planet had been _peaceful_. It was in the center of a galaxy they had long since liberated and quashed any uprising. They had made an _alliance_. Then they had been metaphorically stabbed in the back.

Or maybe they were just scared civilians who only wanted to keep their family safe.

Keith grits his teeth and calls them liars, squeezing the leader’s throat with magic until Lance forces him to back down. The leaders not only _knew_ what was going on, they gladly let Galra forces inside without being detected by them! They had tried to _slit_ their _throats_ in their sleep and all they give is a half assed apology while Allura is kidnapped and held for random? It wasn't just any random, either.

They wanted Keith.

Commander Prorok calls their ship as they depart the so-called city of dreams, demanding compliance. He had called Keith Haggar's _kit_. Said that she _wanted her son back._

Keith knows that's a lie. Knows every syllable form their mouth is a farce. They will not let Allura out unscathed if Keith gives himself up. And he knows Lance would never let him do it. For now, the team decided to not question Keith about Haggar being his mother, there were much more stressful things on their minds.

Like Allura being at Zarkon's mercy, croaking out to not come get her in a short video feed of her torture. And how they wanted to trade _Keith_ for _Allura_. A _weapon_ for a _diplomat_.

Besides being Keith, Red Paladin of Voltron, he was a weapon, too.

_A weapon of mass destruction_. Haggar whispers to him in dreams. _You're fated to destroy the universe. Ironic, isn't it?_

Keith digs his nails into the palms of his hands, only loosening them when Lance rubs over the marks and gems on his hands.

Lance won't let him go, he knows. They've already had a fight about it. Him and Lance, and him and the team. He is flabbergasted about how backwards their decisions are now. How, before, he was the only one against coming to save Allura, just as she'd wanted.  And how this time everyone is against it, because they know the trade proses a far greater threat to their mission, and how he is so adamant to save her from Zarkon's clutches. The team is split between yes, we can try and help Keith get out if need, and it's too dangerous.

Lance keeps him within arm’s reach at night, waking up whenever he shifts in his sleep. He worries. But Keith can't let Allura stay in Galra hands forever.

Keith breathes in a deep breath and lets it out, whispering a spell to keep Lance asleep as he slips out of bed and hovers his way to Red.

//

Red was against it too. He should have known she would throw a fit. Keith's head is throbbing at the bickering between them, all the while Lance's spell is a tick closer to wearing off and stopping him. He can barely keep Red from reaching out to Blue and Lance for help.

Keith needs to do this. He _needs_ to. He has to prove himself. Prove to his team that he is worthy, prove to himself that he could protect the make-shift family he made. Prove to himself that he was not a monster.

Red slumps forward, mewling a request he doesn't go in a desperate whine. Keith nearly says yes. Nearly. He leans forward and places his forehead on her jaw, petting the metal.

"I'll come back to you." He murmurs, he wonders if he is saying it to Red, or the Lance from S-0 desperately urging him to hold onto his life. Or if he was projecting it toward the Lance now, asleep in his bed.

He had the same itch at the back of his head that whispered his demise. An echo of the first final battle. But this would just be between him and Haggar, he was sure.

Keith was going to come back to Lance. He was going to keep the promise.

//

_"Keith, you need to stop being an idiot." Lance huffs, first aid kid out and open and spread across their bed. He holds Keith's hand in one hand, dabbing at the open wounds and scabs with alcohol while Keith hisses in pain._

_"I'm not an idiot.." Keith mumbles back, lips in a pout at being scolded like a child, narrowed eyes watching as Lance cleans up his knuckles, bloodied and bruised from hand to hand with the drone._

_"You are when you work yourself ragged and nearly break your arm training because you're too tired." Lance says with finality in his voice. Keith narrows his eyes further, flinching at the salve. "Seriously, how stupid are you?" Lance starts to wrap his hands in bandages, Keith doesn't grace him with an answer and he hears Lance sigh again._

_"Keith.. You need to stop doing these things. I worry, the team worries... You like to think you're replaceable, that if you don't overwork yourself we'd drop you from the team. But we won't. That's not how a team works, Keith. We have each other's backs." There was a pause as Lance rubs over the bandages. Keith finally glances up at him when Lance tugs on his hands. He watches over the scarless face, how young he looked. Realized how closely Lance has been watching him since he's been picked up from the jungle with a half broken Red._

_"I have your back, Keith. I know you've always had mine. If you ever,_ ever _, need anyone to talk to, for someone to just listen? I'm here."_

//

Keith stares ahead at the Galra ship ahead. His signal has been sent and accepted, he is flying in without attacks of soldier or drones.

Everything is quiet.

Quiet. Like the silence in space. Like the glaring light of clashing quintessence. Like the chill in his veins.

Keith parks the small ship in the hangar, missing the familiar shade of red on the dashboard as he turns off the ship and takes careful steps to the exit, focusing on his breathing.

No one is there, the hangar empty of all ships. The only sound he hears is the steps of his feet against the metal floor. He follows the tug of energy, luring him down hallways.

It feels eerily familiar. He had never been on a Galra ship that was entirely void, there was always a few flesh people walking around, and there were always drone used for help. But this ship, it was void of life entirely. Of any life, Galra or otherwise.

Except...

"Allura?" He whispers like a child, pursing his lips as he focuses on what he feels. Further down the hallway, down at the other end of the ship, was a slither of life. He follows it like breadcrumbs, opening doors with a swing of his hand. The closer he got, the more he felt it. 

Keith pauses just outside the thick doors. This was where he needed to be. He opens the door, holding his breath.

In the middle of the room was a giant container filled with raw quintessence, Keith stays in the doorway until he notices how off it looks. Because it does not look clear and yellow, but rather opaque and glowing purple. This was an entire large container of _refined_ quintessence.

Keith looks around, sees no one, feels no one, and he steps forward. The door slides closed behind him as he reaches the container, fingertips touching the glass.

"Half-bred." Keith sucks in a breath and makes sure to keep the tension in his body at a minimum. He turns his head to the side, Haggar standing at the entrance of another hall, hood drawn, chin down. Keith could see her grin, her unnatural sharp teeth.

"Witch." He gripes back, hands falling from the glass and turning to face her completely. "Where's Allura?"

"It's been so long since we're last met and you want to know about that kilnor?" Haggar hums, shrugging her shoulders. Keith could see electricity dancing on her hands. "What an ungrateful child.." She doesn't sound like she means it, though. She sounds amused, really. "I give you life and opportunity, and you squander your talents." Her hair swishes as she shakes her head. Keith's own bangs shift, he sees the light of her hair reflected in his own in thickening patches.

"Allura." Keith demands. He wasn't here to talk to the witch, wasn't here to reminiscent about memories he didn't have. He feels energy dance on his own hands, too. It was stronger than Haggar's sparks. It was a warning. Her grin drops into a scowl.

"Ungrateful children, the lot of you." Haggar mutters out. She raises her hand, energy growing. Keith raises his own in defense, ready for a fight. With a stroke of magic the door behind her is opened. Allura is held up with magic, Keith grits his teeth, she was not awake.

He came here on his own and Allura is unconscious. She wouldn't be able drive the ship back to the castle. Keith can always put it on autopilot but there was no guarantee Allura wouldn't be ambushed and brought back.

Lance was right.. He really was an idiot.

Allura was breathing hard, breathing hitching every other breath at the pain in her body. Busted lip, burn marks. Haggar didn't flinch at abruptly dropping Allura on the floor between them. Keith tenses his body to not jump to her side, eyeing Haggar from his spot beside the container. She stares back, eyes unnatural Galra-like, glowing dim.

//

"Allura! Wake up, please, wake up.." Keith pants, dragging Allura's body across the space of the room, trying to go back to the ship he had brought. Her body was heavy and he wasn't the best with lifting anybody, considering his strength lies in attacks and magic nowadays. Allura groans a little, shifting but not fully conscious.

"Keith..?" She croaks out, throat raw and dry. Keith walks a little faster.

"Yeah. I'm here." Just a little more. There was one more hallway then he was at his ship. Allura was disoriented, furrowing her brow in confusion. "I'm taking you back to the castle." He says, grunting a little as he pulled her arm around his shoulder more. Keith sighs when he sees the ship, hovering his way all the way to the ramp and gets inside. It might not be a safe haven, but it was the closest thing he got.

"But... How are you-- Haggar--"

"Don't speak. Don't worry about it." Keith sits her down in the copilot seat and buckles her in, careful of her tattered body. He takes a seat in the pilot seat and starts the ship.

The jar of refined quintessence stuck at the back of his head, Haggar's voice whispering secrets but he can't understand the language. He thinks for a split second about going back to that room and grabbing some but thought better of it. If Haggar hadn't already, she would call for backup and then they'd really be fucked. At least now they had a chance to get away.

So he does. Flies the ship out of the hangar and takes the same route back to the castle with haste.

When he checks the monitors for the Galra ship later that night, it did not show up. There was no record of any such ship being in that area at the same time as his. No ship with that signature energy.

The ship itself does not exist.

Keith tries to figure out why Haggar had let them go so easily. Because it really was. So. Easy. Too easy. Haggar let Keith crawl to Allura to make sure she was alive and asked Keith for a vial of blood. It was weird, sure, but he would take it if it meant a possibility of them both being able to get out alive.

Keith doesn't ask why she carries around a jar three times smaller than a refined quintessence bottle, doesn't ask why she carries around needles and tubes as she throws them over. He just takes it, bleeds out an appropriate amount of blood, and throws the things back to her with a glare.

Haggar didn't pay them any mind at all once she caught the vial. She grinned and grinned and laughed quietly to herself, and then she was gone.

Keith shivers.

Lance would be so mad when he got back. He thinks it would be annoying... But being scolded by Lance would mean he was alive. He came back.

//

Lance is pacing around the common room, sentences blending into each other as his voice gets louder, naming off every stupid thing that Keith did. The others had already left, seeing as after putting in their own thoughts and lectures, they gave Lance the mic. Now it was going on nearly ten minutes of just Lance scolding him. Keith sat on the couch, hoping the cushion would swallow him whole.

The guilt was building with every passing tick, as well as his anxiety about what Haggar really wanted.  About why she gave Allura back so easily, why she wanted his blood. Why was that ship there? How come he can't find it? He can't help feeling that he had fucked up. Not that he had, he was alive. Allura was alive. But, just _Haggar_...

Why was his blood so important?

"Keith.." Lance says, softer now. Keith flinches, bringing his body into himself more, staring at the rumbled cloth between his hands. He hears Lance sigh and then he was sitting down by him, his hand undoes the tight grip Keith had in his robes before smoothing out the fabric. Keith tries not to squeeze his nails into his palms when his security is taken. "Keith.. Don't do that again." Lance's voice is pleading, making Keith's heart squeeze again. "I was so _freakin_ scared when I woke up with you gone.."

Keith purses his lips. He doesn't feel like he deserves to lean into Lance's heat but he does anyway, leaning his head on Lance's shoulder and threading their fingers together. Lance, miraculously, permits him this small comfort. Even sliding an arm around Keith's shoulder and hugging him close. Keith sucks in a shaky breath, nudging his face into Lance's shoulder, squirming to get close.

"I'm sorry.." Keith says after a long, terse silence. His legs curled up over Lance's lap, heated hands wrapped around his torso that ground him and kept dwindling his anxiety. Lance tightened his grip around him. Keith puffs out a breath against his neck, ears brushing against Lance's lip. Lance's breath was warm against his ear, sending shivers down his spine that calm him down further.

"I'm so sorry.." Keith murmurs again, shutting his eyes. Despite being outwardly calmed, he still feels wrong. He was sorry for a multitude of reasons, for running off by himself to save Allura, scaring Lance, and most of all, dooming them to whatever Haggar has planned.

Keith can't stop the crawling under his skin.

//

_Pidge pants in harsh breaths, gripping their shoulder as they hide behind a broken ship. Blood seeps into their glove and they wiggle their fingers. Still functional. They suck in a breath, gritting their teeth as they pull themselves up to their feet. They can hear the charge of laser guns coming from the desecrated building they escaped from._

_Their bayard is gone, taken by the rebel force_ against _Voltron that took up base in the ruins. They weren't for Zarkon, either. They were for anarchy. Complete chaos._

_And Pidge had just_ left _Matt and Shiro in the decrepit room, still unconscious, to fend for themselves when the leader comes back. They had to go back. They won't leave their family again. Never again. But they had no bayard, no gun, no sword, no weapon. They look around with tears in their eyes, urging them to dry when they see a glimmer in the sand by the broken ship._

_A shard, a jagged, triangular, metal spike. Pidge pulls it out with some difficulty, wincing at the twinge of pain as the sides cut the palm of their good hand. They weigh the metal in the center of their hand, gripping the thickest part, the tip at the other end was good enough. It was sharp. Rusted, but sharp. When they hear the droids come closer, they take a breath and grip the shrapnel harder._

_They don't hesitate to cut the jugular of the mechanical soldier. They took out one after another, there only being a handful. It didn't take long, either. The sentries were old and repurposed, not state of the art Galra drones. They did not have their guns, the ones that did were inside. They had swords, meant to stab through their skin and spread their blood all over the pebbles on the ground._

_Pidge could not pick up the sword. It was made with heavy metals that even their strong body cannot lift, despite spending years toning their body, lifting weights and sparing with Keith. They leave the swords and sparking bodies of the sentries and run to the side of the building. The metal in their hands burns through the fabric of their gloves, Pidge can smell the fabric. They grip it tighter._

_Escaping the area, they squeezed through the small air ducts. This time they need to find another way in. They can't go through the front, and the back was crushed from mountain rocks of a previous earthquake. They had seen a shallow area to crawl in under rocks from the side. The ground had been littered with glass and smaller metals and wires._

_Pidge feels the jerking of tendons in their foot and pushes forward, hiding behind anything they could find. They pant heavily by the time they get to their area, ankle protesting any movement. Pidge thinks they are lucky their paladin shoes double as compressors. They don't think as they lay on their belly and wiggle their way under the boulder, ignore the poking and scraping against their armor and forcing their way through a particularly tight spot. Their muscles throb but they keep going._

_The broken and deformed window was a lot easier to jump through than crawling into the space. Pidge's breath was more labored now than before, adrenaline pumping through their veins. They try for stealth, try being the key word. It was hard to be stealthy when you breathe like an asthmatic, especially when the planet had less oxygen and no helmet to regulate it._

_Don't think._

_Pidge growls as a laser hits them in the thigh, yelling when they get close and dig the shrapnel into the shoulder of a flesh rebel. In the back of their mind, Pidge is glad they wear clothes that wrap from their neck to their head, only allowing the visual of a pair of alien eyes._

Don't think. Find them.

_Pidge is shaking from exhaustion when they get to the room. Their palms cut and swollen from the jerks of metal. Their left arm is numb but operable._

_When they see a soldier with a gun to Matt's head, they lose it._

_Pidge does not think, their body is numb. They scream as they slice the shrapnel across the soldier's neck. They don't stop, not when the soldier has a face, not when the eyes scrunch up in resentment and anger. And especially not when the soldier falls, gurgling on blood. Pidge sends the rusted metal edge into his neck, his chest, the soldier's face._

_Matt calls their name, Shiro too, but their voices are muffled and far off. Pidge's body lurches forward, a kick to their shoulder. They scream louder as they grip the bloody make shift weapon and twist their body, shredding the legs of whoever dared to come close._

_They don't stop and they don't think._

_Not until everything is silent and the ringing in their ears becomes duller. They gasp in breath like they were choking, staring at the bodies littered on the floor. When they let go of the shrapnel, it sticks to their gloves and hurts to pry off._

_Their eyes are watering, body shaking as the adrenaline starts to wear off, as what they did set in. Pidge turns their head to look at Matt, at Shiro. They stare, wide eyed. Matt is the first to react, face screwing into one of sympathy and understanding._

_"Pidge..."_

_Pidge falls to their knees, clutching their hair and_ pulling _, crying picking up with desperate, retched sobbing._

//

_It was an accident, Hunk swears. He didn't mean it. He hadn't wanted that to happen. He had never wanted blood on his hands. He had never wanted to fight. He never asked to become a soldier._

_Hunk was not a soldier. He was an engineer, a mathematician, a chef, a goofy guy who liked nerdy things. He got motion sickness on car rides, carnival rides, alien war ship rides, you name it. Sure, he might've gotten better at calming the flips his stomach did when he takes Yellow for a spin, but he still wasn't a soldier. He wasn't like Allura, he wasn't like Shiro, or like Keith. The three people who seem to be able to harden themselves for everyone else's sake._

_Hunk was all curves and squishy belly. He had fat on his arms and jiggly thighs, thick, pudgy fingers, and stretch marks that stand out against his dark skin that his mother liked to call tiger stripes._

_Hunk had a massive heart to go with his big body. He was kind and generous, he backs up his friends no matter what. Even though sometimes the backup was to Lance's horrible retorts._

_Hunk had gotten better at fighting. He knows how to wield his bayard with deadly accuracy. He has thick muscles underneath the pudge, could probably bench press Shiro if he tried. Hell, he could probably launch Pidge into space with his strength alone._

_But Hunk was not a soldier. Never wanted to be, never asked to be, never will be. Because he can't handle this. Not the war, not people dying. And certainly not...._

_Hunk froze, eyes comically blown wide as the body smacks against Yellow's window pane. It doesn't bounce off, Hunk would have preferred that. The body, instead, rips apart. It splatters blood in all directions, obscuring all visuals except the unneeded edges. Hunk's eyes can't move away from the face smushed against the window. It had been terrified, before the impact broke the jaw, crushed the skull._

_Yellow careened to the side, stopping only by forcing autopilot. Hunk is gone from his mind until the head slips off the window pane with a schlop his mind so helpfully provides with him as he mentally pictures the head slamming against the jagged rocks underneath his lion on the mountain side._

_Then Hunk was back. He doesn't make it to the wastebasket he keeps for emergencies as he turns his head to the side._

//

_"Don't fucking touch him!" Lance screams, shooting a Galra soldier away from Keith. He was in the middle of a hex-circle, murmuring under his breath as wisps of magic light twirl around him. He couldn't hear anyone or thing, couldn't protect himself._

_Lance forced himself to aim a little higher than the chest plate, missing marginally. It hit the soldier’s neck, sending him sputtering and holding onto the wound to stop the bleeding. It was fatal, and Lance turns his eyes to the reinforcements, not bothering to see the downed soldier lean against a wall and sputter._

_The second soldier goes down quickly with a practiced shot to the middle of the forehead. Lance was not so lucky with the third, who had gotten close enough to punch him. His bayard it thrown a few feet away, Lance grunts as his back hits the floor, tackled down by a bara of a soldier. The Galra hisses, opening its mouth wide to showcase the fangs and what they could do. Lance sees Keith at the corner of his eyes, the magic light dying down._

_Lance grapples at the gun at the soldier's hip he forgot in favor killing Lance more personally, with his bare hands, wrapped painfully around his neck. Lance chokes, brings up the gun just under the soldier's jaw and pulled the trigger without a second thought. He felt the hands marginally twitch tighter, preparing the final squeeze to break his neck before the body falls forward.  Lance gasps in his breath desperately, pushing off the heavy half-flesh, half-Galra tech body off him._

_"Keith!" He calls, crawling over to his lover. Keith is at his side in seconds, worry etched into his face. Lance stands with his help, grabs his bayard, Keith's hand in his free hand, and pulls him to the next room to get the artifact they needed from this mission._

_Lance doesn't say anything to Keith unless it was to make sure Keith wasn't over exerting himself. Ignored Keith's imploring eyes to explain what happened, to tell him. He would listen. Lance's hands shake as he remembers the blood splattering across his face and mouth. The hands on his neck about to break him like a twig. He feels cold, and he wonders if this was what Keith goes through every time he kills someone. If all his experience left his body so cold he couldn't warm up without someone else's heat._

_Guilt scratches at his bruised throat. Keith won't go through this alone ever, ever again._

//

Keith cradles Pidge's head to his clothed chest, hoping to provide at least a comforting presence if not a little warmth. His talons are gently running through their hair, kept shoulder length. Their arms are wound tight around his chest to his back, the pressure almost painful. They suck in a breath and let it out, shaky, still on edge.

Keith kisses the top of their head and lifts his free hand into the jar of quintessence by the table, working the liquid into their scalp and whispering spells to soothe the throbbing of their head against their skull. To lull them into nightmare-free dreams. The hands at Keith's back still shake, but the intensity has lessened. Their body is cold against Keith's own, even under two thick duvets. Keith hopes Lance will come soon with the jurjur for sleep. His body would provide heat Pidge needed to relax their body. Keith could relax their mind, soothe the aches in their muscles and heal their cuts.

This was the third day since Pidge came back from the mission to have nightmares. Keith had never attempted to heal mental wounds, never thought he could. He could try, provide comfort and a safe place for his comrades in arms.

Time does not heal all wounds. Keith knows this for a fact, as he still feels the painful tug on his heart strings at getting left behind. He hopes with time, Pidge will get as best as they could. They will never be the same, Keith knows. It's an undeniable truth. The nightmares don't always stay away. They come back to haunt them in increments.

Keith pulls them closer, hoping him just _being_ would provide enough of a rock as Lance's does.

When Lance comes back, they don't drink the tea. Pidge refuses to lift their face from hiding. Lance settles on the other side of Pidge, sandwiching them between a warm body and a soft pulse of a being.

Pidge finally sleeps.

//

"Hunk, please, you gotta eat buddy." Lance whines, knocking on the door as he holds a plate of food goo. He barely saw Hunk eat anything the past two weeks. His skin looks dry and pale, his eyes dim and chapped lips pursed. Hunk opens the door but does not make to move from the cocoon he made on his bed with extra blankets.

"I'm not hungry.." He hears Hunk mutter, hiding under the blanket. Lance comes in to set the tray on the nightstand, sitting on the bed.

"But you skipped lunch _and_ dinner. You have to be hungry.. Hunk, buddy, what happened?" Lance asks after a silence. Hunk tenses but shakes his head. Lance frowns, worrying his own lips. He pats Hunk's shoulder. "I'll be right back."

Lance walks with a purpose, long legs carrying him across the castle quickly. He finds Keith curled up with a spell book in the nook of their room, huddled in blankets.

Keith looks up, raises a brow, but sets his book down and crawls out of his nest when Lance asks for help. Keith grabs a vial of harvested quintessence and follows Lance, talking softly about Hunk's change. Keith purses his lips and nods.

"Would you be able to help?" Keith thinks as they reach the door.

"I can try.." Lance knocks once before the door slides open and they both walk in. 

The food goo is untouched.

Keith moves to sit on the edge of Hunk's bed, close to the paladin, as he places a hand on his shoulder.

"Hunk? Hunk, we need you to eat something." He says, voice uncharacteristically gentle for a temperamental paladin.

"Not hungry.." Keith hears him gruff out. Keith only rubs soothing circles into his shoulders.

"Is it because you feel sick?" Hunk pauses, letting the silence stretch out and wondering how long he could keep pretending everything was fine when it was not. He gives a minuscule nod that both of them catch. "Sit up," Keith urges gently. "Try to eat? For us?"

With great reluctance, Hunk sits up and pushes himself back against the wall of the bed. Keith crawls to be between him and the opposite wall. Lance takes his spot on the edge of the bed, plate and spork ready.

Hunk watches with furrowed brows as Keith dips his fingers into the purple liquid he carried with him, the same hand rubbing soothing circles on his stomach. The hymns Keith spoke were lyrical, and they were able to coax him to eat half a plateful of goo. They stayed for a while more, Keith massaging comforting magic into his body, soothing his distress.

They listen to Hunk speak in a tiny voice about the incident. The two stay the night in Hunk's room, letting him rest easy for a night and help to keep his food down the next morning, and at other meals to come.

//

Unlike in S-0, Lance is holding his left hand when they wait at the control room of the ship. His grip is tight in his own, Keith feels this is as a comfort, uncaring how the squeeze was just a little too hard, pinching the bones in his hand. He squeezes back, pressing his body close against Lance.

The trembling energy is back, tingling the back of his neck, whispering of destruction. Whispering of dying dreams, crushing hope. _He won't make it out of here_. The same feeling from S-0 bled into him now, but stronger, louder. Keith could feel a whimper at the back of his throat he refuses to voice. He can't break down now.

What he wants to do was turn them around. Take them to a safe place. Anxiety fills his veins at the prospect of going through the battle again.

And again.

And again.

Again.

This was the second time to go into the final battle.

_What.. if...it'll just send me back?_

It leaves Keith wanting to turn tail and hide. He hides his face into Lance's neck. Lance hugs him close with his free hand, Keith gratefully hugging back.

"Paladins.. get to your lions." Allura says, her voice is grave and telling. She sounds more tired than she did in S-0. Keith tightens his grip, desperate to keep Lance with him. He does not want to look at the others, but he does. He raises his eyes and met the others, the same tired, hardened eyes stare back. They know. They've been fighting for so long, they have lost a lot.

Luckily, not each other.

But nonetheless, they feel the loss others procured. The blood on their hands stained their skins. Keith notices the red patches of their skin, similar to his own in the past, from scrubbing it raw.

_"We can_ do _this."_ Lance whispers in the back of his head.

"We can _do_ this.." Lance hugs him tighter, whispering against his ear. Keith takes a deep breath, gulping down saliva.

_"Lance.. have you ever thought about adopting children?" Keith asks, his voice shy, eyes watching the mice scurry around the table and steal the cookies. "When this is all over.. when we get back?"_

_Lance tenses, Keith swears he feels his heat increase. He chances a glance up at Lance's face to see the red gracing his cheeks, sprinkling down his neck and to the tips of his ears._

_"I-uhh.." Lance coughs to cover up his awkward bumble. "I do.." Shy Lance was a cute Lance, Keith always thinks. Keith feels his lips tug at a smile, feeling sentimental longing for S-0 Lance and the possible future he could have with S-1 Lance. Stomping down the whisper at the back of his mind that told him he_ has _no future._

_"I've thought about adopting two or three... How they'd wake us up at the ass crack of dawn for breakfast in bed because they learned about it in school.. How adorable they would look, grins missing teeth, knowing they won't get in trouble for the mess in the kitchen because they are just_ that _cute." Lance sighs, wistful, thinking about it. He looks to Keith, taking his left hand to his lips and kissing at the knuckles._

_"I've thought about bringing you home, too. To meet my mom and dad.. Siblings and cousins.. It's been a dream of mine for a long time, now."_

Keith let go of Lance with greater reluctance than before, watching him run down the hall. Keith feels Red tug at his mind, urging him to her. He leaves a few ticks after Lance was out of sight.

_"Stay safe."_

_"I've got your back."_

_"I love you so much."_

_"You better come back to me."_

//

_"KEITH!!"_

Keith should have realized what was wrong with the picture of Haggar letting him go for his blood. Should have realized the parallels of S-0 and S-1 over lap the second he wields his magic against Haggar's.

Keith could feel Haggar's smirk grate against his subconscious, feels the atoms in his body start to move.

The light gets brighter, and brighter, covering the entire battlefield with a blinding light. He couldn't look away.

Everything was so bright. Intense. Lance's voice was far away, as far away as the heat was receding too. His body felt as cold as the void of space. He couldn't hold on any longer..

_"Keith!!"_

**Author's Note:**

> _Mama mia! Here we go again~!_
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you for reading! For those that seem to catch on, _here we go again._  
>  But don't worry, it won't be a never ending loop! In fact, I have only three more installations of _Kosmonat_. And the ending will be a happy one, too!
> 
> Be on the look out for _Apollo 13_ in the next coming weeks. <3


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